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Today, the high sales of popular consumer goods reflect the power of advertising and not the real needs of the society in which they are sold. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.6

Today, the high sales of popular consumer goods reflect the power of advertising and not the real needs of the society in which they are sold. v. 6
These days the reason of rising sales of popular products is the result of advertisements that people watch on television or see on social media rather than buying products which are of necessity. In my opinion, the above statement is partially true as there are individuals who easily get influenced by advertisements, especially younger generation. On the contrary, there are people who keep track of their expenses and who do not believe in such advertisements. In today's digital world, there are various platforms to advertise ones product. There is - television, social media apps like Instagram and the Facebook. Youngsters, these days, spend lot of their time on mobile phones and hence are easily convinced by advertisements. Also, since the goods can be brought online convinently, it is easier to spend money on unnecessary things. Like, one of my friend buys clothes after she scrolls through a Myntra sponsered post on Instagram. If you see older generation, they have been taught, from childhood, the concept of saving. In addition, people who are in their 40s and above do not use their phones as much as younger adults and teenagers. Hence, they are less likely to get influenced by this kind of advertising. For instance, my father has been buying his clothes from Raymonds and still buys it from there without getting tempted by all the online ads. In conclusion, I somewhat agree that ever-rising sales of famous brands is power of advertising but not all people buy products being blinded by advertisements. Instead, such people buy products only if they are the need of the hour.
These days the reason of rising sales of popular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
is the result of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
on television or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
on social media
rather
than buying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
which are of necessity. In my opinion, the above statement is
partially
true as there are individuals
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
easily
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
influenced by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
,
especially
younger generation.
On the contrary
, there are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
track
of their expenses and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
do not believe in such advertisements.

In
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
's digital world, there are various platforms to advertise
Did you mean "one's"?
ones
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
. There is
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
-
television, social media apps like Instagram and the Facebook. Youngsters, these days, spend
It seems that an article is missing.
lot of
their time on mobile phones and
hence
are
easily
convinced by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
.
Also
, since the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
can
be brought
online
Possible spelling mistake found.
convinently
, it is easier to spend money on unnecessary things. Like, one of my friend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buys
clothes after she scrolls through a
Possible spelling mistake found.
Myntra
Possible spelling mistake found.
sponsered
post on Instagram.

If you
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
older generation, they have
been taught
, from childhood, the concept of saving.
In addition
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
are in their 40s and above do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
their phones as much as younger adults and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
.
Hence
, they are less likely to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
influenced by this kind of advertising.
For instance
, my father has been buying his clothes from
Possible spelling mistake found.
Raymonds
and
still
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buys
it from there without getting tempted by all the online ads.

In conclusion
, I somewhat
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that ever-rising sales of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
brands is power of advertising
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
being blinded
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
.
Instead
, such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
if they are the need of the hour.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
22Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Today, the high sales of popular consumer goods reflect the power of advertising and not the real needs of the society in which they are sold. v. 6

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
266 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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