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Television dominates the free-time of too many people. It can make people lazy and prevent them from socialising with others. Do you agree or disagree? v.3

Television in today's world has become one of the basic needs of human being. I agree with the statement that television dominates the free time of too many people. It also makes them too lazy and prevents them from socialising with others. Watching T. V is not a bad habit. In the leisure time, one can watch TV, listen music, play games, etc. But if this crosses the limit, then the person will become lazy in his/her work. He/she will not have any interest in his/her office work, household chores, etc. This also makes them stay away from people. Recently, I came across one news which stated that " wife killed husband for asking to serve lunch for him ". Wife who was crazy about the TV serials killed her husband for asking her to serve lunch. In this news article it is clearly understood that in today's world person don't have any feelings for his family and beloved ones. Always family should be the first priority for any individual. Because it is the family that teaches us everything in life. Mother is the first teacher and father is the pillar of family. Our second priority should be our friends. Along with family, friends also play an important role in one's life. There is a saying that "Friend in need is a friend indeed". So, we should never avoid our friends. Televisions should be watched only in leisure time and not 24*7.
Television in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
's world has become one of the basic needs of human being. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the statement that television dominates the free time of too
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
. It
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
them too lazy and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevents
them from socialising with others. Watching T. V is not a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
habit. In the leisure time, one can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
TV, listen music, play games, etc.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
if this crosses the limit, then the person will become lazy in his/her work. He/she will not have any interest in his/her office work, household chores, etc. This
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
them stay away from
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
. Recently, I came across one news which stated that " wife killed husband for asking to serve lunch for him ". Wife who was crazy about the TV serials killed her husband for asking her to serve lunch. In this news article it is
clearly
understood that in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
's world person don't have any feelings for his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
and beloved ones. Always
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
should be the
first
priority for any individual.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
it is the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
that teaches us everything in life. Mother is the
first
teacher and father is the pillar of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
. Our second priority should be our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
. Along with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
also
play an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role in one's life. There is a saying that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
"Friend
in need is a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friend
indeed
".
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, we should never avoid our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
. Televisions should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watched
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
in leisure time and not 24*7.
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Amy Chua

IELTS essay Television dominates the free-time of too many people. It can make people lazy and prevent them from socialising with others.

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
242 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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