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Today the high sales of popular consumer goods reflect the power of advertising and not the real needs of the society in which they are sold. v.25

Today the high sales of popular consumer goods reflect the power of advertising and not the real needs of the society in which they are sold. v. 25
Nowadays millions of companies produce billions of products and the role of advertising is quite obvious. Ads help consumers to find the goods or services of their needs. However, do our needs grow equally fast as the number of products? Some market analysts insist modern commercials are not merely matchmakers of a product and a consumer but actively interfere with buyer’s desires, developing artificial needs. Undoubtedly, advertisement guides people through the market, serves those who do not have time to learn differences between goods. These products are probably the same, but loyalty to a particular brand, formed by a commercial helps make a choice. When a person buys one mobile phone out of 50 models, he thinks he made his choice himself. But that was a commercial who told him about the features of this phone. Nevertheless, ads not only inform us about new goods but force people to want them. This can be even useful, for example for someone who suffers from back pains and without commercials, he would never imagine there are new mattresses which could ease their pains. Unfortunately, promoters now operate our minds more aggressively. Commercials no longer promote products, but lifestyles. They told us to purchase things just because they are fashionable or up to date with the image of a successful person. And we buy new cars, gadgets and clothes in order to match this image and not because old ones are no longer usable. Personally, I think that high sales of popular commodities are the result of new promotional technologies. The best illustration of that is that everyone now is concerned mostly about how a new mobile phone will reflect his personality, a new shirt – his image, or will a new car make colleagues feel jealous.
Nowadays millions of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
produce billions of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
and the role of advertising is quite obvious. Ads
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
consumers to find the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
or services of their needs.
However
, do our needs grow
equally
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
as the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
?
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
market analysts insist modern commercials are not
merely
matchmakers of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
and a consumer
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
actively
interfere with buyer’s desires, developing artificial needs.

Undoubtedly
, advertisement guides
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
through the market, serves those who do not have time to learn differences between
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
. These
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
are
probably
the same,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
loyalty to a particular brand, formed by a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
commercial
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a choice. When a person
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buys
one mobile phone out of 50 models, he
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thinks
he made his choice himself.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
that was a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
commercial
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
told
him about the features of this phone.

Nevertheless
, ads not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
inform us about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
force
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to want them. This can be even useful,
for example
for someone who suffers from back pains and without commercials, he would never imagine there are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
mattresses which could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ease
their pains.

Unfortunately, promoters
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
operate our minds more
aggressively
. Commercials no longer promote
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
lifestyles. They
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
told
us to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
things
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they are fashionable or up to date with the image of a successful person. And we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
cars, gadgets and clothes in order to match this image and not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
ones are no longer usable.

Personally
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that high sales of popular commodities are the result of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
promotional technologies. The best illustration of
that is
that everyone
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
is concerned
mostly
about how a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
mobile phone will reflect his personality, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
shirt
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
–
his image, or will a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
car
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
colleagues feel jealous.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
14Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay Today the high sales of popular consumer goods reflect the power of advertising and not the real needs of the society in which they are sold. v. 25

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
294 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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