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Today, the high sales of popular consumer goods reflect the power of advertising and not the real needs of the society in which they are sold. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.22

Today, the high sales of popular consumer goods reflect the power of advertising and not the real needs of the society in which they are sold. v. 22
In the intensely competitive business environment nowadays, advertising is such a powerful weapon enormously influencing our consumer habits. Much effective as it is, it seems one-sided without considering another important one to be the cause: our demand. Therefore, I only partly agree with the idea that advertising, instead of the society’s needs, is playing the main role in deciding what we buy. Because of the rapid development of businesses and corporations, we are now overwhelmed with the diversity of different products. Therefore, advertisement is the key factor which makes a product stand out, or attract us more than others. Advertising obviously boasts the advantages of the goods and centres on our psychological aspects, with the only aim to raise its trading volume. For example, most of the time we go shopping, we tend to pick up more than expected, or buy goods that later turns out unnecessary. That is because, we are easily attracted by goods that are advertised everywhere, or by what the sellers say about their products. We also like to buy products of well-known brands more than ones with no fame, which can be stated as a clear example of the economic power of advertisement. However, a popular consumer product will not become a household name if it is not what we need. Advertisement has the power to influence what we buy, but if we use and find out it is not at all like what they say about the product, and we cannot use it, then we will not buy it again. Only products that meet our society’s real needs will stay long with us and become popular. Otherwise, it will only be the trend for a short time, and then replaced by others. For example, each time a new smartphone is released and widely advertised, it is considered fashionable and modern to have one, so people follow the trend and buy it. But sooner or later, another new smartphone will steal the show, and the old one has now become out of fashion. In conclusion, it is undeniable that advertisement is extremely advantageous for companies to sell their products, but what the society truly need is also a crucial factor to take into consideration.
In the
intensely
competitive business environment nowadays, advertising is such a powerful weapon
enormously
influencing our consumer habits. Much effective as it is, it seems one-sided without considering another
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
one to be the cause: our demand.
Therefore
, I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
partly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
that advertising,
instead
of the society’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
needs
, is playing the main role in deciding what we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
of the rapid development of businesses and corporations, we are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
overwhelmed with the diversity of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
.
Therefore
, advertisement is the key factor which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
stand out, or attract us more than others. Advertising
obviously
boasts the advantages of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
and
Possible spelling mistake. 'centres' is British English.
centres
on our psychological aspects, with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
aim to raise its trading volume.
For example
, most of the time we go shopping, we tend to pick up more than
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expected
, or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
that later turns out unnecessary.
That is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
, we are
easily
attracted by
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
that
are advertised
everywhere, or by what the sellers say about their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
. We
also
like to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
of well-known brands more than ones with no fame, which can
be stated
as a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
example of the economic power of advertisement.

However
, a popular consumer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
will not become a household name if it is not what we
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
. Advertisement has the power to influence what we
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
if we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
and find out it is not at all like what they say about the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
, and we cannot
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
it, then we will not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
it again.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
our society’s real
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
needs
will stay long with us and become popular.
Otherwise
, it will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
be the trend for a short time, and then replaced by others.
For example
, each time a new smartphone
is released
and
widely
advertised, it
is considered
fashionable and modern to have one,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
follow the trend and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
it.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
sooner or later, another new smartphone will steal the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
, and the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
one has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
become out of fashion.

In conclusion
, it is undeniable that advertisement is
extremely
advantageous for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
to sell their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
what the society
truly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
is
also
a crucial factor to take into consideration.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay Today, the high sales of popular consumer goods reflect the power of advertising and not the real needs of the society in which they are sold. v. 22

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
369 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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