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Some people think that old people need to live in special communities, but others believe they should live with their family and adult children. Discuss both views and give your own opinion. Some people think that old people need to live in special communities, but others believe they should live with their family and adult children. Discuss both views and give your own opinion. v.3

Some people think that old people need to live in special communities, but others believe they should live with their family and adult children. Some people think that old people need to live in special communities, but others believe they should live with their family and adult children. v. 3
There are two main ideas considering where citizens have to reside in advanced age, the first one is about living in retirement communities while the second one is that they should stay with their grown-up children. In my opinion, older people ought to be placed in particular facilities, so that they can benefit longer and much more comfortable lives as well as social benefits. One concept is that the elderly people should live with their own relatives. The main argument here can be that mature daughters and sons could take care better and their own homes have a warmer environment than artificial care and indifferent approach in special communities. In addition, when old people live with their children, they are provided with the emotional support which is necessary to recover. For example, It is well-known that when a person becomes up in years, he or she could have more problems with health like Alzheimer's disorder which is harder to treat at home. Even the individual who is not faced such influential issue with the physical condition, is likely to encounter some minor deviations during this time of life. Children are not equipped with a knowledge and devices to help their parents. Moreover, specific premises have important technological as well as nurses and other educated staff to deal with different issues. For example, in developed countries, people can benefit such houses with almost all needed things, so they can rather enjoy their life than suffer from the diseases. In conclusion, although emotional support and a warm home environment are essential for seniors, in my opinion, there are more advantages for them considering vital health care services, which are offered there.
There are two main
ideas
considering where citizens
have to
reside in advanced age, the
first
one is about living in retirement communities while the second one is that they should stay with their grown-up children. In my opinion, older
people
ought to
be placed
in particular
facilities,
so
that they can benefit longer and much more comfortable
lives
as well
as social benefits.

One concept is that the elderly
people
should
live
with their
own
relatives. The main argument here can be that mature daughters and sons could take care better and their
own
homes have a warmer environment than artificial care and indifferent approach in special communities.
In addition
, when
old
people
live
with their children, they
are provided
with the emotional support which is necessary to recover.
For example
,

It is well-known that when a person becomes up in years, he or she could have more problems with health like Alzheimer's disorder which is harder to treat at home. Even the individual who is not faced such influential issue with the physical condition, is likely to encounter
some
minor deviations during this time of life. Children are not equipped with a knowledge and devices to
help
their parents.
Moreover
, specific premises have
important
technological
as well
as nurses and other educated staff to deal with
different
issues.
For example
, in
developed countries
,
people
can benefit such
houses
with almost all needed things,
so
they can
rather
enjoy their life than suffer from the diseases.

In conclusion
, although emotional support and a warm home environment are essential for seniors, in my opinion, there are more advantages for them considering vital health care services, which
are offered
there.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes
As a hawk flieth not high with one wing, even so a man reacheth not to excellence with one tongue.
Roger Ascham

IELTS essay Some people think that old people need to live in special communities, but others believe they should live with their family and adult children. Some people think that old people need to live in special communities, but others believe they should live with their family and adult children. v. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
279 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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