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Today, the high sales of popular consumer goods reflect the power of advertising and not the real needs of the society in which they are sold. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.2

Today, the high sales of popular consumer goods reflect the power of advertising and not the real needs of the society in which they are sold. v. 2
Nowadays, demand trends of some in demand goods has significantly changed during past decades. Some people believe that this is because of advertisement industry, and individual’s needs do have an effective role in this concept. In this essay, I partly agree with this view and people’s choice as an effective factor should be taken in to account. On the one hand, human is free in his choices, while some external variables can influence on his decision. General speaking, each person has independent character to make a decision, and his/or her taste will be changed over the time. For example, in the fashion world, a shirt could be become as a trendy fashion item in the market in short period and would be attractive to the society immediately. Suddenly by changing the people’s taste this merchandise will be omitted from favorite list. However, there are many effective factors which should be considered regarding this issue such as advertisement. On the other hand, advertising has a significant role in making some goods popular. Because the most important item which can effect on the society’s opinion to buy specific goods, is advertisement. For instance, imagine an advertising campaign which is held to sale and promote a new ice cream, and their target are children and youth, in addition they try to motivate these potential customers to buy their product. They use several tricks such as creative ad TV advert or a famous cartoon’s character in the form of toys or stand up comedy to attract children’s opinion. In conclusion, although people have this freedom to buy their real needs without any enforcement, the power of advertisement is an undeniable fact which has been having huge effects on the society’s taste and influencing their selections in different ways.
Nowadays, demand trends of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
in demand
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
has
significantly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
during past decades.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that this is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of advertisement industry, and individual’s needs do have an effective role in this concept. In this essay, I partly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this view and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
choice as an effective factor should
be taken
in to account.

On the one hand, human is free in his choices, while
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
external variables can influence on his decision. General speaking, each person has independent character to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a decision, and his/or her taste will be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
over the time.
For example
, in the fashion world, a shirt could
be become
as a trendy fashion item in the market in short period and would be attractive to the society immediately.
Suddenly
by changing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
taste this merchandise will
be omitted
from favorite list.
However
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
effective factors which should
be considered
regarding this issue such as advertisement.

On the other hand
, advertising has a significant role in making
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
popular.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
item which can effect on the society’s opinion to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
specific
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
, is advertisement.
For instance
, imagine an advertising campaign which
is held
to sale and promote a new ice cream, and their target are children and youth,
in addition
they try to motivate these potential customers to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
their product. They
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
several tricks such as creative ad TV advert or a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
cartoon’s character in the form of toys or stand up comedy to attract children’s opinion.

In conclusion
, although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have this freedom to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
their real needs without any enforcement, the power of advertisement is an undeniable fact which has been having huge effects on the society’s taste and influencing their selections in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
ways.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes
A special kind of beauty exists which is born in language, of language, and for language.
Gaston Bachelard

IELTS essay Today, the high sales of popular consumer goods reflect the power of advertising and not the real needs of the society in which they are sold. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
294 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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