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Today the high sales of popular consumer goods reflect the power of advertising and not the real needs of the society in which they are sold. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.19

Today the high sales of popular consumer goods reflect the power of advertising and not the real needs of the society in which they are sold. v. 19
The rising sales of consumer products do not show the requirement of the public these days rather it displays the power of advertisement. This essay agrees with the notion because people get influenced by the products, which are advertised by celebrities and due to advance technology, there are more opportunities or platforms to display adverts. The main reason is that famous people such as cricketers, actors promote such products and people get influence from them and this result in buying that product. In other words, people want to follow the lifestyle of their favorite celebrities and buy unnecessary things. Therefore, they get convinced that they can achieve a better lifestyle or higher social status by using the advertised products. For instance, a study done by the New York Times in the year 2017 revealed that the sales of products that are promoted by celebrities are 35% more than others. Another reason is that with the help of advanced technology the marketers can target potential customers through several platforms such as social media and the internet. That is to say that everyone has access to the internet and other platforms due to technology and these adverts keep popping up on the screen that people are bound to see them. Thus, these advertisements catch the attention of online users and they cannot resist themselves and end up buying those products. For example, according to a survey by the Guardian 40% of people admitted that they buy products only by watching the adverts on social media that they find attractive. In conclusion, these days the increasing sales of goods show how adverts influence the public and do not give any idea about real needs. I agree with this statement because celebrity endorsed products influence the general public and adverts can be promoted on every platform and get the attention of people.
The rising sales of consumer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
the requirement of the public these days
rather
it displays the power of advertisement. This essay
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agrees
with the notion
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
influenced by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
, which
are advertised
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrities
and due to advance technology, there are more opportunities or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
platforms
to display adverts.

The main reason is that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
such as cricketers, actors promote such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
influence from them and this result in buying that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
.
In other words
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
want to follow the lifestyle of their favorite
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrities
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
unnecessary things.
Therefore
, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
convinced that they can achieve a better lifestyle or higher social status by using the advertised
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
.
For instance
, a study done by the New York Times in the year 2017 revealed that the sales of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
that
are promoted
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrities
are 35% more than others.

Another reason is that with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of advanced technology the marketers can target potential customers through several
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
platforms
such as social media and the internet.
That is
to say that everyone has access to the internet and other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
platforms
due to technology and these adverts
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
popping up on the screen that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are bound
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
them.
Thus
, these advertisements catch the attention of online
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
users and
they cannot resist themselves and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
up buying those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
.
For example
, according to a survey by the Guardian 40% of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
admitted that they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
by watching the adverts on social media that they find attractive.

In conclusion
, these days the increasing sales of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
how adverts influence the public and do not give any
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
about real needs. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this statement
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrity
endorsed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
influence the
Consider using "public".
general public
and adverts can
be promoted
on every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
platform
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the attention of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay Today the high sales of popular consumer goods reflect the power of advertising and not the real needs of the society in which they are sold. v. 19

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
308 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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