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Art is considered an essential part of all cultures throughout the world. However, these days fewer and fewer people appreciate art and turn their focus to science, technology and business. Why do you think that is? What could be done to encourage more people to take interest in the arts? v.13

Art is considered an essential part of all cultures throughout the world. However, these days fewer and fewer people appreciate art and turn their focus to science, technology and business. Why do you think that is? What could be done to encourage more people to take interest in the arts? v. 13
Art is perceived as an indispensable part of all cultures around the globe. Yet, in recent times lesser and lesser people appreciate art and divert to science, technology and business. This essay will discuss the reasons for this changing trend and will devise plausible solutions to encourage more people for taking an interest in the arts. Discussing the reasons, the most trivial is that there is much exposure nowadays regarding the existence of mankind and many fundamental scientific logics. Therefore, people are more curious to search for future possibilities rather than spending time upon classical artefacts. For instance, international space station is one such example of their curiosity; where many experiments are being conducted for coming generation's travel and living possibilities at Mars. This is only possible because of the interest of people in science and technology. Another reason to the cause is that today the world has become a global village. This has led to many temptations for humans to expanding their businesses to the other parts of the globe. This tendency as a result has caused many nations to focus more on the business possibilities rather than to spend money and energy on anything creative. In my opinion, there are some feasible measures which could aid in improving the interest of people in preserving art simultaneously. For instance, people could be made aware by arranging useful talks in regard to the imperatives of artefacts. Further, the government must provide the scholarships to study art subjects. This could eventually lead many people establishing their willingness to study arts above science and other subjects. To conclude the aforementioned, above said are logical reasons to like other subjects more. However, the financial benefits with a proper education can help in reviving the trend of loving arts again.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Art
is perceived
as an indispensable part of all cultures around the globe.
Yet
, in recent times lesser and lesser
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
appreciate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
and divert to science, technology and business. This essay will discuss the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
for this changing trend and will devise plausible solutions to encourage more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
for taking an interest in the arts.

Discussing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
, the most trivial is that there is much exposure nowadays regarding the existence of mankind and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
fundamental scientific logics.
Therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are more curious to search for future possibilities
rather
than spending time upon classical
Possible spelling mistake. 'artefacts' is British English.
artefacts
.
For instance
,
If the term is a proper noun, use initial capitals.
international space station
is one such example of their curiosity; where
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
experiments are
being conducted
for coming generation's travel and living possibilities at Mars. This is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
possible
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the interest of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in science and technology. Another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
to the cause is that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
the world has become a global village. This has led to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
temptations for humans to expanding their businesses to the other parts of the globe. This tendency
as a result
has caused
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
nations to focus more on the business possibilities
rather
than to spend money and energy on anything creative.

In my opinion, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
feasible measures which could aid in improving the interest of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in preserving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
simultaneously
.
For instance
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
could
be made
aware by arranging useful talks in regard to the imperatives of
Possible spelling mistake. 'artefacts' is British English.
artefacts
.
Further
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
provide the scholarships to study
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
subjects. This could
eventually
lead
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
establishing their willingness to study
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
above science and other subjects.

To conclude
the aforementioned, above said are logical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
to like other subjects more.
However
, the financial benefits with a proper education can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
in reviving the trend of loving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
again.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay Art is considered an essential part of all cultures throughout the world. However, these days fewer and fewer people appreciate art and turn their focus to science, technology and business. Why do you think that is? What could be done to encourage more people to take interest in the arts? v. 13

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
296 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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