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Some people fail in school, but end up being successful in life. Why do you think that is the case? What is the most important thing to succeed in life? v.12

Some people fail in school, but end up being successful in life. Why do you think that is the case? What is the most important thing to succeed in life? v. 12
These days many people believe that those who have academic qualifications are successful and being a good student is the only way to succeed. However, I do not agree with this view because there are several factors in practical life which determine the accomplishment of an individual. I think requirements to become successful is hard working. To begin, many educational institutes are still following the old-fashioned and outdated methods of teaching; Therefore the creativity of many students does not flourish. Additionally, students' talent is not assessed by schools. The only thing that is considered is their grade. Consequently, many students drop out. Thus, it is evident that if a person fails in school, it cannot be a sign of intellectual weakness. On the other hand it indicates some students are not able to benefit from conventional methods of learning. There are also many students who fail in school because they have the passion for doing something other than education. For instance, many athletes were not interested in study, but when they recognized their talent they succeeded in life. Plus, they may be good at singing, painting or trading. To be successful in life, one needs to possess some skills and personal traits. For example, one of the most valuable things is persistent effort. A person must have the right attitude, determination and willingness to work hard. Furthermore, have some academic certificate increase their chances of success. Although education could have a positive effect, without hard work and perseverance no one can achieve success in life. In conclusion, failure in school does not mean that people cannot become successful in life. Academic background could certainly improve a person's chance of achievement, but it is not the only reason for being successful. There are many important factors such as hard working on a regular basis.
These days
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that those who have academic qualifications are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
successful
and being a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
is the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
way to succeed.
However
, I do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this view
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
there are several factors in practical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
which determine the accomplishment of an individual. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
requirements to become
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
successful
is
This expression is normally spelled as one or with hyphen.
hard working
.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
educational institutes are
still
following the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
-fashioned and outdated methods of teaching;
Therefore
the creativity of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
does not flourish.
Additionally
, students' talent is not assessed by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
. The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
thing that
is considered
is their grade.
Consequently
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
drop out.
Thus
, it is evident that if a person fails in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
, it cannot be a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sign
of intellectual weakness.
On the other hand
it indicates
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
are not able to benefit from conventional methods of learning. There are
also
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
who fail in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they have the passion for doing something other than education.
For instance
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
athletes were not interested in study,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
when they recognized their talent they succeeded in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. Plus, they may be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
at singing, painting or trading.

To be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
successful
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
, one needs to possess
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
and personal traits.
For example
, one of the most valuable things is persistent effort. A person
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
have the right attitude, determination and willingness to work
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hard
.
Furthermore
, have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
academic certificate increase their chances of success. Although education could have a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
effect, without
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hard
work and perseverance no one can achieve success in life.

In conclusion
, failure in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
does not mean that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
cannot become
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
successful
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. Academic background could
certainly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
a person's chance of achievement,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it is not the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
reason for being
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
successful
. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
factors such as
This expression is normally spelled as one or with hyphen.
hard working
on a regular basis.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people fail in school, but end up being successful in life. Why do you think that is the case? What is the most important thing to succeed in life? v. 12

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
303 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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