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Today, the high sales of popular consumer goods reflect the power of advertising and not the real needs of the society in which they are sold. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.15

Today, the high sales of popular consumer goods reflect the power of advertising and not the real needs of the society in which they are sold. v. 15
There is a common trend about an announcement is a pivotal factor of companies to connect with the clients. These range from a little thing of enormous houses, apartments. To some certain, there is a troublesome that literature would push people to spend more money for unnecessary things than a real needing. Undoubtedly, the announcement pace penetrates into a purchasing power. Some people think that a massive number of products are sold by advert manipulation. It is acceptable, but it would be logical that nowadays being successfully relates to advertisers in the marketing. It is obvious not to see advertisements anywhere. The majority tend to see these adverts because of keeping updates. By this mean advertisements aid to choose and to ease processing. Furthermore, clients can follow competitions among companies and easily decide where they should go. It would appear the identification of unnecessary things could not be possible. There is underlying that people may buy something and go market not prone to adverts for their needing. It provides that we have not any fact to say people get trivial things or pivotal things. The benefits of the approach would surely be useful both companies and people regardless of importance case. Apart from this person’s financial condition is not the same. Some people have material considerations and they get the prime things what they need more than other products. Hence this does not mean that, if others went and got significant products because of advertisement. There is no point in saying advert works precisely some case they can make a sense prone to products. It would be flawed product or with less quality. Occasionally, celebrities are used in poster in order to make an impact. Beyond this, advertisement eases our consumer life and find the precise thing what we need. In the sum up, it is precisely notice has an enormous effect on society. The whole world is enlightened through the more qualified and range, adverts from all companies.
There is a common trend about an announcement is a pivotal factor of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
to connect with the clients. These range from a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
thing of enormous
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
houses
, apartments. To
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
certain, there is a troublesome that literature would push
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to spend more money for unnecessary things than a real needing.

Undoubtedly
, the announcement pace penetrates into a purchasing power.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that a massive number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
are sold
by advert manipulation. It is acceptable,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it would be logical that nowadays being
successfully
relates to advertisers in the marketing. It is obvious not to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
advertisements anywhere. The majority tend to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
these adverts
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of keeping updates. By this mean advertisements aid to choose and to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ease
processing.
Furthermore
, clients can follow competitions among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
and
easily
decide where they should go. It would appear the identification of unnecessary things could not be possible. There is underlying that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
something and go market not prone to adverts for their needing. It provides that we have not any fact to say
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
trivial things or pivotal things.

The benefits of the approach would
surely
be useful both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
regardless of importance case. Apart from this person’s financial condition is not the same.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have material
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
considerations and
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the prime things what they need more than other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Hence
this does not mean that, if others went and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
significant
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of advertisement.

There is no point in saying advert works
precisely
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
case they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a sense prone to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
. It would
be flawed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
or with less quality.
Occasionally
, celebrities are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
in poster in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
an impact. Beyond this, advertisement
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
eases
our consumer life and find the precise thing what we need.

In the sum up, it is
precisely
notice has an enormous effect on society. The whole world
is enlightened
through the more qualified and range, adverts from all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
.
4Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
15Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay Today, the high sales of popular consumer goods reflect the power of advertising and not the real needs of the society in which they are sold. v. 15

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
329 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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