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Government investment in the arts, such as music and theatre, is a waste of money. Governments must invest this money in public services instead. To what extent do you agree with this statement? v.12

Government investment in the arts, such as music and theatre, is a waste of money. Governments must invest this money in public services instead. v. 12
The purpose of art is washing the dust of daily life off our souls. ” – Pablo Picasso. Nowadays, more and more people contend that the government should invest more money in public services instead of the arts. Others argue that theatre, music, painting and other kinds of art are very important for us. In this essay, I would like to consider both opinions and express my point of view on this issue. I absolutely support the idea that public services are essential to our society and should be invested in a proper way. We cannot have good health without hospitals or good education without schools and that is not all. Public services cover human basic needs and make them not worry about their future. People feel more comfortable, calm and happy when live in a developed society. But I dare say that the arts are equally important as public services because They are closely linked to cultural, educational and even economic pillars. Painting, theatre, and music are closely related to human history die to the fact that they are historical record, a preservation of culture, and an autobiography all in one. Arts be the heritage and distinctive feature of the country that the government should save and invest in. For instance, ballet in Russia, opera in Austria, architecture in Spain and painting in France. In conclusion, I would like to say that the arts can be as indispensable as public services. As pointed out by Dalton Henris on his research conducted at Harvard University, creating art is a primal human behaviour and we need it because it makes us complete human beings.
The purpose of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
is washing the dust of daily life off our souls. ”
Consider using an m-dash in dialogues and enumerations.
–
Pablo Picasso. Nowadays, more and more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
contend that the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should invest more money in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
instead
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
. Others argue that
Possible spelling mistake. 'theatre' is British English.
theatre
, music, painting and other kinds of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for us. In this essay, I would like to consider both opinions and express my point of view on this issue.

I
absolutely
support the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
are essential to our society and should
be invested
Consider replacing "in a proper way" with the adverb for "proper"; e.g., "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
in a proper way
. We cannot have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
health without hospitals or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
education without schools and
that is
not all.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
cover
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
basic needs and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them not worry about their future.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
feel more comfortable, calm and happy when
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in a developed society.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
I dare say that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
are
equally
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because


They are
closely
linked to cultural, educational and even economic pillars. Painting,
Possible spelling mistake. 'theatre' is British English.
theatre
, and music are
closely
related to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
history
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
die
to the fact that they are historical record, a preservation of culture, and an autobiography all in one.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Arts
be the heritage and distinctive feature of the country that the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should save and invest in.
For instance
, ballet in Russia, opera in Austria, architecture in Spain and painting in France.

In conclusion
, I would like to say that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
can be as indispensable as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
. As pointed out by Dalton
Possible spelling mistake found.
Henris on
his research conducted at Harvard University, creating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
is a primal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
behaviour and
we need it
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
us complete
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
beings.
4Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
21Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Mistakes

IELTS essay Government investment in the arts, such as music and theatre, is a waste of money. Governments must invest this money in public services instead. v. 12

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
273 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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