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Today, the high sales of popular consumer goods reflect the power of advertising and not the real needs of the society in which they are sold. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.10

Today, the high sales of popular consumer goods reflect the power of advertising and not the real needs of the society in which they are sold. v. 10
Over the past few years, people have been bombarded with advertisements everywhere they go ranging from homes to streets. Citizen, therefore, raise a controversial question of whether advertising has become so powerful that it can overshadow the actual needs of the community. Despite the profound effects that advertisements exert on customers, poeple's real demands are still not at all influenced by their omnipresence. On the one hand, some people hold a firm belief that advertisers can easily entice customers into buying by creating some kinds of trends and using technological effects. They usually feature celebrities to attract their fans to spend money on their products. To demonstrate their idolatry, some fans are willing to squander money to purchase anything possessed by their favourite stars regardless of their actual needs. Moreover, genuine quality of products is not prioritized by advertisers. Exaggeration can be deployed to create captivation instead of advance warning on the item's downsides. Without full consideration, gullible poeple will be easily be lured into purchasing with the belief that they can get a high-quality product, which is the same as the one advertised. On the other hand, a multitude of customers still make their own decisions based on their demands, unaffected by the compelling advertisements. As a matter of fact, people usually carry out a research on the products, making comparisons and weighing up all the pros and cons before reaching the final conclusion about whether that item is an optimal choic. In addition, nowadays people have a tendency of taking the brands, which have been well-known for their goods of top quality, into account rather than the misleading adertisements. The customers, as a result, are sure that they spend money wisely and can get quality products. Besides, people with limited financial resources usually make meticulous calculations and steer clear of alluring advertisements to opt for products with reasonable prices. In conclusion, although the minority of people are significantly impacted by advertisements, I still wholeheartedly subscribe to the fact that high sales of goods reflect society's necessities and people purchase products because of their own interests.
Over the past few years,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have
been bombarded
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
everywhere they go ranging from homes to streets. Citizen,
therefore
,
Consider using third-person verb forms for singular and mass nouns: "raises".
raise
a controversial question of whether advertising has become
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
powerful that it can overshadow the actual needs of the community. Despite the profound effects that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
exert on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
customers
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
poeple
's real demands are
still
not at all influenced by their omnipresence.

On the one hand,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
hold a firm belief that advertisers can
easily
entice
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
customers
into buying by creating
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
kinds of trends and using technological effects. They
usually
feature celebrities to attract their fans to spend money on their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
. To demonstrate their idolatry,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
fans are willing to squander money to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
anything possessed by their
Possible spelling mistake. 'favourite' is British English.
favourite
stars regardless of their actual needs.
Moreover
, genuine quality of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
is not prioritized by advertisers. Exaggeration can
be deployed
to create captivation
instead
of advance warning on the item's downsides. Without full consideration, gullible
Possible spelling mistake found.
poeple
will be
easily
be lured
into purchasing with the belief that they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a high-quality
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
, which is the same as the one advertised.

On the other hand
, a multitude of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
customers
still
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
decisions based on their demands, unaffected by the compelling
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
. As a matter of fact,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
usually
carry out
Uncountable nouns are usually not used with an indefinite article. Use simply "research".
a research
on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
, making comparisons and weighing up all the pros and cons
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
reaching the final conclusion about whether that item is an optimal
Possible spelling mistake found.
choic
.
In addition
, nowadays
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have a tendency of taking the brands, which have been well-known for their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
of top quality, into account
rather
than the misleading
Possible spelling mistake found.
adertisements
. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
customers
,
as a result
, are sure that they spend money
wisely
and can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
quality
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
.
Besides
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
with limited financial resources
usually
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
meticulous calculations and steer
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
of alluring
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
to opt for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
with reasonable prices.

In conclusion
, although the minority of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are
significantly
impacted by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
, I
still
wholeheartedly
subscribe to the fact that high sales of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
reflect society's necessities and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
interests.
16Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
23Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Today, the high sales of popular consumer goods reflect the power of advertising and not the real needs of the society in which they are sold. v. 10

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
347 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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