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Many people say that the only way to guarantee a good job is to complete a course of university education. Others claim that it is better to start work after school and gain experience in the world of work. v.4

Many people say that the only way to guarantee a good job is to complete a course of university education. Others claim that it is better to start work after school and gain experience in the world of work. v. 4
Most people think that university education is the only way in order to get good job despite others believe in the experience which has gained at early ages is more important for the best work. Almost all of the people have desire about and try to become qualified, skillful and professional in their fields because this features enable them to get chance choosing the job what they want especially in term of high salary. For this, seems that the only way is a good university education and additional degrees such as certifications or diplomas which verify that for instance, you know some foreign languages or you have participated in some experience programs. In fact, all of these features is essential as long as you are doctor, lawyer or have other occupation such as these. Everyone knows that, in the most of workplaces employers prefer employing the people who have master degree to others that’s why people try to get high educational degree and this might last for ages. On the contrary, there are some professions which do not require university degree as practical skills and hand-on experience are more essential if you do such as works. For instance, if you are a car mechanic or fashion designer, there are not many things that you can learn at university. You can improve your skills only by practicing and getting experience. When recruiters look for the right person for the job, generally they want to know how experienced he or she is or to see their last works or projects if they have. In conclusion, despite the fact that, getting university education and degree and broaden your knowledge by additional courses are very important if you deal with some professions, such as the law, it is possible to get a good job without going to university.
Most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
education is the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
way in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
despite others believe in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
which has gained at early ages is more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for the best work.

Almost
Consider using "all the".
all of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have desire about and try to become qualified, skillful and professional in their fields
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
this features enable them to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
chance choosing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
what they want
especially
in term of high salary. For this, seems that the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
way is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
education and additional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
degrees
such as certifications or diplomas which verify that
for instance
, you know
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
foreign languages or you have participated in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
programs. In fact, all of these features is essential as long as you are doctor, lawyer or have other occupation such as these. Everyone knows that, in the
After 'most of', you should use 'the' ("most of the workplaces") or simply say "most workplaces".
most of workplaces
employers prefer employing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who have master
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
degree
to others that’s why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
try to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
high educational
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
degree
and this might last for ages.

On the contrary
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
professions which do not require
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
degree
as practical
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
and hand-on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
are more essential if you do such as works.
For instance
, if you are a car mechanic or fashion designer, there are not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
things that you can learn at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
. You can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
your
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
by practicing and getting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
. When recruiters look for the right person for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
,
generally
they want to know how experienced he or she is or to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
their last works or projects if they have.

In conclusion
, despite the fact that, getting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
education and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
degree
and broaden your knowledge by additional courses are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
if you deal with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
professions, such as the law, it is possible to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
without going to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
.
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
23Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay Many people say that the only way to guarantee a good job is to complete a course of university education. Others claim that it is better to start work after school and gain experience in the world of work. v. 4

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
304 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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