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Some people think that developed countries have a higher responsibility to combat climate change than developing countries. Others believe that all countries should have the same responsibilities towards protecting the environment. v.2

Some people think that developed countries have a higher responsibility to combat climate change than developing countries. Others believe that all countries should have the same responsibilities towards protecting the environment. v. 2
There exist a debate on whether or not all nations are equally responsible in the global fight against climate change. Some people believe that expectations should be higher for the wealthier nations, whereas there are others who beg to differ. In the sequel, I will provide a brief justification for each of the aforementioned views. It is often argued that the developed nations are to be blamed for most of the greenhouse gas emissions that took place ever since the industrial revolution. Therefore, it is only fair to expect those nations to encumber most of the actions that are required to mitigate the global warming. This view is brought to challenge by some people who argue that an effective program to counter the climate change could only succeed if every single country gets involved and mandates on its businesses to limit the emission of pollutant gases. Even if it is true that it was the developed countries who damaged the environment in the past, we could not give the developing nations the carte blanche to exacerbate the situation. It seems reasonable that in order to conserve the environment, all countries, no matter developed or developing, should watch for the air pollutant activities within their borders. Yet, one has to consider that not all nations have equal footings when it comes to technological advancements and financial resources. Therefore, there has to be some level of help from the developed countries for those nations in the third world who cannot afford to implement the required measures.
There exist a debate on
Consider shortening this phrase to just "whether". It is correct though if you mean 'regardless of whether'.
whether or not
all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
are
equally
responsible in the global fight against climate
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that expectations should be higher for the wealthier
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
, whereas there are others
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
beg to differ. In the sequel, I will provide a brief justification for each of the aforementioned views.

It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
argued that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
are to
be blamed
for most of the greenhouse gas emissions that took place ever since the industrial revolution.
Therefore
, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fair
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expect
those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
to encumber most of the actions that
are required
to mitigate the global warming.

This view
is brought
to challenge by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
argue that an effective program to counter the climate
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
succeed if every single
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
gets
involved and mandates on its businesses to limit the emission of pollutant gases. Even if it is true that it was the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
damaged the environment in the past, we could not give the developing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
the carte blanche to exacerbate the situation.

It seems reasonable that in order to conserve the environment, all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
, no matter
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
developed
or developing, should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
for the air pollutant activities within their borders.
Yet
, one
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
consider that not all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
have equal footings when it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
to technological advancements and financial resources.
Therefore
, there
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
level of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
for those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
in the third world
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
cannot afford to implement the required measures.
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
19Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes
Language is the road map of a culture. It tells you where its people come from and where they are going.
Rita Mae Brown

IELTS essay Some people think that developed countries have a higher responsibility to combat climate change than developing countries. Others believe that all countries should have the same responsibilities towards protecting the environment. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
254 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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