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Today, some young people say that their mobile phones are the most important thing they own. Do you think that the popularity of mobile phones is a good or bad thing? v.1

Today, some young people say that their mobile phones are the most important thing they own. Do you think that the popularity of mobile phones is a good or bad thing? v. 1
Mobile phones have irreversibly changed the everyday life of modern society. Adolescents value their smartphones and dichotomy appears whether that has a positive or negative impact. In my opinion, benefits of phone popularity outweigh the drawbacks. First and foremost, there is no doubt that cell phones made one's life easier. The rising number of mobile device owners resulted in effortless and straightforward means of communication. They allowed people to keep in touch even with faraway living relatives and friends. For example, before the occurrence of these cutting-edge technologies a simple message sent in 1955 through mail reached its addressee after a week, according to Lithuanian post data. On the other hand, wide use of phones negatively impacted young people's behaviour. An abundance of time is spent by most teenagers texting each other, hence they neglect their duties, such as homework or housework. As a result, arguments arise between the younger and the older generations. For instance, according to "The Guardian", 40% of rivalry between the parents and the offsprings began due to the frequent use of smartphones. To sum everything up, state-of-the-art technologies alongside with mobile phones changed the society immensely. Sudden popularity brought a number of advantages, however, it had an impact on the younger populations misconduct. I believe that misbehaviour is only a temporary problem and it can be easily solved.
Mobile
phones
have
irreversibly
changed
the everyday life of modern society. Adolescents value their smartphones and dichotomy appears whether that has a
positive
or
negative
impact. In my opinion, benefits of
phone
popularity outweigh the drawbacks.

First
and foremost, there is no doubt that cell
phones
made one's life easier. The rising number of mobile device owners resulted in effortless and straightforward means of communication. They
allowed
people
to
keep
in touch even with faraway living relatives and friends.
For example
,
before
the occurrence of these cutting-edge technologies a simple message
sent
in 1955 through mail reached its addressee after a week, according to Lithuanian post data.

On the other hand
, wide
use
of
phones
negatively
impacted young
people
's
behaviour
. An abundance of time
is spent
by most
teenagers
texting each other,
hence
they neglect their duties, such as homework or housework.
As a result
, arguments arise between the younger and the older generations.
For instance
, according to
"
The Guardian
"
, 40% of rivalry between the parents and the
offsprings
began due to the frequent
use
of smartphones.

To sum everything up, state-of-the-art technologies alongside with mobile
phones
changed
the society
immensely
. Sudden popularity brought a number of advantages,
however
, it had an impact on the younger populations misconduct. I believe that
misbehaviour
is
only
a temporary problem and it can be
easily
solved.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes

IELTS essay Today, some young people say that their mobile phones are the most important thing they own. Do you think that the popularity of mobile phones is a good or bad thing? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
223 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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