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Some people say that giving a smaller amount of money weekly to children will help them become more capable as they grow older. Do you agree or disagree? v.1

Some people say that giving a smaller amount of money weekly to children will help them become more capable as they grow older. v. 1
Nowadays, a growing number of people encourage parents to grant a small amount of pocket money weekly to their children. This is because they believe that giving weekly money to young children would enhance their financial management skills in the future. However, some childcare organisations and guardians ask parents to avoid giving money to their juvenile. They claim that handing over money to their adolescents in early age might have deleterious impacts. However, I strongly assert that children have the right to receive a lump sum amount of money weekly so that they can readily fulfil their personal necessities and can learn better money management from an early stage of their life. Firstly, it is intuitively obvious that teenagers who receive weekly pocket money from their parents can become experts in financial management in the future life. Additionally, they involve practically in financial matters and since they have limited amount they persist and strive in order to accomplish all their necessities without crossing financial boundaries. Alternatively, granting money to offspring on a weekly basis has other uncountable benefits such as they become familiar with the methodology of bargaining. Moreover, children who want to buy a specific toy or gadget for themselves start accumulating money in their fantastic treasure boxes. As a result, they can primarily go through the sophisticated process of saving money. Ultimately, it is extremely fundamental for parents to allocate a small budget weekly for their children because children's necessities are as mandatory as elder's. On top of this, the biggest demerit of not delivering pocket money to children is that they become a victim of an inferiority complex. Last but not the least, they often create social distances from their friends and family members. On the contrary, it is undoubtedly acknowledged that children who start possessing money in their younger ages can instantly involve in illegal activities and bad habits. For instance, drinking alcoholic beverages, taking drugs and smoking require money and children who have money can incline to these bad habits. There is ample evidence to suggest that children who receive extra cash for their necessities are highly likely to commit crimes and get involved in bad habits. In conclusion, although offspring who do not grab a single penny from their parents are somewhat protected from getting into bad habits like smoking and alcoholic addictions, but in my opinion, parents should provide freedom for their kids in terms of purchasing their favourite and desired products and gadgets. As a result, they would probably become experts in purchasing, financial management, saving as well as bargaining.
Nowadays, a growing number of
people
encourage
parents
to grant a
small
amount of pocket
money
weekly
to their
children
. This is
because
they believe that giving
weekly
money
to young
children
would enhance their
financial
management
skills
in the future.
However
,
some
childcare
organisations
and guardians ask
parents
to avoid giving
money
to their juvenile. They claim that handing over
money
to their adolescents in early age might have deleterious impacts.
However
, I
strongly
assert that
children
have the right to receive a lump sum amount of
money
weekly
so
that they can
readily
fulfil their personal
necessities
and can learn better
money
management
from an early stage of their life.

Firstly
, it is
intuitively
obvious that
teenagers
who
receive
weekly
pocket
money
from their
parents
can
become
experts in
financial
management
in the future life.
Additionally
, they involve
practically
in
financial
matters and since they have limited amount they persist and strive in order to accomplish all their
necessities
without crossing
financial
boundaries.
Alternatively
, granting
money
to offspring on a
weekly
basis has other uncountable benefits such as they
become
familiar with the methodology of bargaining.
Moreover
,
children
who
want to
buy
a specific toy or gadget for themselves
start
accumulating
money
in their fantastic treasure boxes.
As a result
, they can
primarily
go through the sophisticated process of saving
money
.
Ultimately
, it is
extremely
fundamental for
parents
to allocate a
small
budget
weekly
for their
children
because
children's
necessities
are as mandatory as elder's. On top of this, the biggest demerit of not delivering pocket
money
to
children
is that they
become
a victim of an inferiority complex. Last
but
not the least, they
often
create social distances from their friends and family members.

On the contrary
, it is
undoubtedly
acknowledged that
children
who
start
possessing
money
in their younger ages can
instantly
involve in illegal activities and
bad
habits.
For instance
, drinking alcoholic beverages, taking drugs and smoking require
money
and
children
who
have
money
can incline to these
bad
habits. There is ample evidence to suggest that
children
who
receive extra cash for their
necessities
are
highly
likely to commit crimes and
get
involved in
bad
habits.

In conclusion
, although offspring
who
do not grab a single penny from their
parents
are somewhat protected from getting into
bad
habits like smoking and alcoholic addictions,
but
in my opinion,
parents
should provide freedom for their kids in terms of purchasing their
favourite
and desired products and gadgets.
As a result
, they would
probably
become
experts in purchasing,
financial
management
, saving
as well
as bargaining.
14Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
62Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes
A different language is a different vision of life.
Federico Fellini

IELTS essay Some people say that giving a smaller amount of money weekly to children will help them become more capable as they grow older. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
428 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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