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Some say that people living in high-rise apartments are lonely and unhappy, while others say that it’s advantageous to stay in high-rise apartments. Discuss both views and give your opinion. v.1

Some say that people living in high-rise apartments are lonely and unhappy, while others say that it’s advantageous to stay in high-rise apartments. v. 1
Some people claim, the residents in high-rise apartments are lonely and are not happy. However, others feel it is beneficial to stay in these apartments. This essay will discuss both the views and explain why living in apartments is advantageous. On one side, these multistoried apartments are economical and they are located within the city limits. Especially in metropolitan cities, many can afford to buy apartments, because it is reasonable in comparison to independent houses. In addition, some apartments have swimming pools, play area for children and gymnastics. Moreover, all these facilities are free of cost for the residents. Another reason, is these high rise buildings are usually located in the heart of the city. Therefore, it is convenient for the residents to commute to their workplace. Moreover, the schools, hospitals and the shopping centres are situated within a few kilometeRs radius. For example, the apartment in which I stay is near to the metro station hence i find it convenient. On the other side, people residing in these apartments often feel lonely and they are not happy. This is because they have less interaction with neighbours. Many times, people may not know the name of person living next door. Therefore, even at times of burglar attack or thefts neighbours may not be of any help. Overall, they may feel isolated and they may not be happy about this. In conclusion, despite the fact that people in apartments are lonely and unhappy, there are many advantages of residing in an apartment. Ultimately, residents need to be happy about staying in an economical and convenient apartment.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
claim, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
residents
in high-rise
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
apartments
are lonely and are not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happy
.
However
, others feel it is beneficial to stay in these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
apartments
. This essay will discuss both the views and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
why living in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
apartments
is advantageous.

On one side, these multistoried
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
apartments
are
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
economical and
they
are located
within the city limits.
Especially
in metropolitan cities,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
can afford to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
apartments
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it is reasonable
in comparison
to independent
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
houses
.
In addition
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
apartments
have swimming pools, play area for children and gymnastics.
Moreover
, all these facilities are free of cost for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
residents
. Another reason, is these high rise buildings are
usually
located in the heart of the city.
Therefore
, it is convenient for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
residents
to commute to their workplace.
Moreover
, the schools, hospitals and the shopping
Possible spelling mistake. 'centres' is British English.
centres
are situated
within a few
Possible spelling mistake found.
kilometeRs
radius.
For example
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
apartment
in which I stay is near to the metro station
hence
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
find it convenient.

On the other side,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
residing in these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
apartments
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
feel
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
lonely and
they are not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happy
. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they have less interaction with
Possible spelling mistake. 'neighbours' is British English.
neighbours
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
times,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
may not know the name of person living
next
door.
Therefore
, even at times of burglar attack or thefts
Possible spelling mistake. 'neighbours' is British English.
neighbours
may not be of any
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
.
Overall
, they may feel
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
isolated and
they may not be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happy
about this.

In conclusion
, despite the fact that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
apartments
are lonely and unhappy, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
advantages of residing in an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
apartment
.
Ultimately
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
residents
need to be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happy
about staying in an economical and convenient
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
apartment
.
17Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
23Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay Some say that people living in high-rise apartments are lonely and unhappy, while others say that it’s advantageous to stay in high-rise apartments. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
265 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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