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The use of cell phones (mobile phones) has grown rapidly in the past few years. People use them for both business and personal reasons. What are the advantages and disadvantages of the widespread use of cell phones (mobile phones)? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience v.1

The use of cell phones (mobile phones) has grown rapidly in the past few years. People use them for both business and personal reasons. What are the advantages and disadvantages of the widespread use of cell phones (mobile phones)? 1
The use of mobile phones has increased significantly in recent years, as it is being used for both business and personal purpose. Although it has several pros in this modern era but there are some cons which need to be considered as well. Firstly, seamless communication is the most recognised positive side of having a mobile. It is the key to success of any organisation which facilitates globalisation through the utilization of mobile phones. For instance, multinational companies setting up their locations in different corners of the world as cell phones can help them to talk from the remote areas. Secondly, it can be a trouble-free medium of enhancing knowledge and expertise. Additionally, the smart phone has access to Google, YouTube etc. Through which they can learn plenty of skills. For example, the owner of Jequid Kitchen in Australia has started her own catering business by learning cooking from YouTube. On the other hand, the downsides of reckless usage of mobile is irrefutable. In the corporate sector, this interrupts the workflow as well as productivity. Moreover, it may become an addiction to the teenagers which hampers their studies as well as their mental growth. Nonetheless, excessive use of mobile phones may lead to some serious privacy issues. For instance, speaking to random people and providing personal information can cause many fraudulent activities along with blackmailing. Finally, in my opinion the advantages of the usage of mobiles outweigh the disadvantages as they can be managed if strict precautions are taken. Adequate awareness is the main prerequisite to overcome the detriments. For instance, I believe when working at the office, use of unnecessary mobile needs to be fully controlled. In conclusion, the number of mobile phone users increasing drastically because it helps to communicate in this era of globalisation and also allow us to enhance knowledge. However, Though the merits tend to supersede the demerits of using a cell phone.
The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
has increased
significantly
in recent years, as it is being
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
for both business and personal purpose. Although it has several pros in this modern era
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
cons which need to
be considered
as well
.

Firstly
, seamless communication is the most
Possible spelling mistake. 'recognised' is British English.
recognised
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
side of having a mobile. It is the key to success of any
Possible spelling mistake. 'organisation' is British English.
organisation
which facilitates
Possible spelling mistake. 'globalisation' is British English.
globalisation
through the utilization of mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
.
For instance
, multinational
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
setting up their locations in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
corners of the world as cell
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them to talk from the remote areas.
Secondly
, it can be a trouble-free medium of enhancing knowledge and expertise.
Additionally
, the smart
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
has access to Google, YouTube etc. Through which they can learn
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
.
For example
, the owner of
Possible spelling mistake found.
Jequid
Kitchen in Australia has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
her
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
catering business by learning cooking from YouTube.

On the other hand
, the downsides of reckless usage of mobile is irrefutable. In the corporate sector, this interrupts the workflow
as well
as productivity.
Moreover
, it may become an addiction to the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
which hampers their studies
as well
as their mental growth. Nonetheless, excessive
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
may lead to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
serious privacy issues.
For instance
, speaking to random
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
and providing personal information can cause
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
fraudulent activities along with blackmailing.

Finally
, in my opinion the advantages of the usage of mobiles outweigh the disadvantages as they can
be managed
if strict precautions
are taken
. Adequate awareness is the main prerequisite to overcome the detriments.
For instance
, I believe when working at the office,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of unnecessary mobile needs to be
fully
controlled.

In conclusion
, the number of mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
users increasing
drastically
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
to communicate in this era of
Possible spelling mistake. 'globalisation' is British English.
globalisation
and
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
us to enhance knowledge.
However
, Though the merits tend to supersede the demerits of using a cell
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes
A new language is a new life.
Persian Proverb

IELTS essay The use of cell phones (mobile phones) has grown rapidly in the past few years. People use them for both business and personal reasons. What are the advantages and disadvantages of the widespread use of cell phones (mobile phones)? 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
318 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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