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The use of cell phones (mobile phones) has grown rapidly in the past few years. People use them for both business and personal reasons. What are the advantages and disadvantages of the widespread use of cell phones (mobile phones)? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience v.2

The use of cell phones (mobile phones) has grown rapidly in the past few years. People use them for both business and personal reasons. What are the advantages and disadvantages of the widespread use of cell phones (mobile phones)? 2
The use of mobile phones for businesses and personal use has increased significantly over the past few years. People have come to accept its importance in the society, hence, the rise in its usage. I believe this is due to a number of factors, such as its ease and convenience. There are several advantages that can be linked to the widespread use of mobile phones. The first; ease in communication. Friends and family can stay in touch with one another by voice calling, sending messages or video calling easily. Everyone’s literally one call away. For example, I live 800 kilomete\res from my family. We don’t get to see one another as often as we’d love to, however, we speak every day and make video calls once in a while without any hassles, thereby giving us this sense of closeness. Another advantage is convenience in e-commerce. It brings businesses and customers together. Business owners can reach their target customers by uploading their products for mobile applications. Recently, I ordered ASDA Ginger nut biscuits from London using my mobile phone, in the convenience of my bedroom and it was delivered to me in Nigeria. As with everything that has advantages, mobile phones also have disadvantages. Firstly, exploitation of data. Many people store personal information in applications on their mobile phones. This information can be exploited if the phones get hacked or fall into the wrong hands. In an article I read, a woman lost her savings because her phone got stolen and the culprit transferred her money using her mobile banking app. Secondly, mobile phones have caused a decrease in physical interaction. More people will rather interface on their phones. A wedding I attended recently, nine out of ten bridesmaids were on their phones most of the time. In conclusion, there is a rise in the commercial and private usage of telephones. With the current global cellphone penetration still under 60%, it is expected that in the next few decades that should increase significantly. The driver being the numerous benefits outweighs the potential drawbacks.
The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
for businesses and personal
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
has increased
significantly
over the past few years.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
to accept its importance in the society,
hence
, the rise in its usage. I believe this is due to a number of factors, such as its
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ease
and convenience.

There are several advantages that can
be linked
to the widespread
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
. The
first
;
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ease
in communication. Friends and family can stay in touch with one another by voice calling, sending messages or video calling
easily
. Everyone’s
literally
one call away.
For example
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
800
Possible spelling mistake found.
kilomete
\res from my family. We don’t
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
one another as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
as we’d
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
to,
however
, we speak every day and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
video calls once in a while without any hassles, thereby giving us this sense of closeness. Another advantage is convenience in e-commerce. It brings businesses and customers together. Business owners can reach their target customers by uploading their products for mobile applications. Recently, I ordered
Possible spelling mistake found.
ASDA
Ginger nut biscuits from London using my mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
, in the convenience of my bedroom and it
was delivered
to me in Nigeria.

As with everything that has advantages, mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
also
have disadvantages.
Firstly
, exploitation of data.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
store personal information in applications on their mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
. This information can
be exploited
if the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
hacked or fall into the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
hands. In an article I read, a woman lost her savings
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
her
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
stolen and the culprit transferred her money using her mobile banking app.
Secondly
, mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
have caused a decrease in physical interaction. More
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
will
rather
interface on their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
. A wedding I attended recently, nine out of ten bridesmaids were on their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
most of the time.

In conclusion
, there is a rise in the commercial and private usage of telephones. With the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
global cellphone penetration
still
under 60%, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expected
that in the
next
few decades that should increase
significantly
. The driver being the numerous benefits outweighs the potential drawbacks.
8.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8.5Mistakes

IELTS essay The use of cell phones (mobile phones) has grown rapidly in the past few years. People use them for both business and personal reasons. What are the advantages and disadvantages of the widespread use of cell phones (mobile phones)? 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
342 words
8.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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