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Today, some employees are not sociable with colleagues in their workplace and they have difficulties in their teams. What are reasons of this, and what measures can be suggested? v.1

Today, some employees are not sociable with colleagues in their workplace and they have difficulties in their teams. What are reasons of this, and what measures can be suggested? v. 1
Since the day mankind set foot on this planet, there has been some matters capable of putting fear into each generation’s heart. However, nowadays, life is much more stressful than what it used to be for the prior generation. In this essay, the reasons behind this phenomenon and how to overcome it will be discussed. To begin with, why stress is such a big problem these days, the revolution of jobs resulted in more stress in life. In the past, the main career for the majority of citizens was agriculture in which the worker did not require any specific knowledge. On the other hand, jobs are way more professional these days, meaning not only should the worker study for many years, but he has to pass many exams as well, and obviously, owing to the fact that each exam brings stress with itself, more exams than past more stress life in the past. Moreover, living is much more complicated than past. What i think is that one should work and earn more does he want to have a normal life. As the fact that for having a simple, modern life, many gadgets should be provided. Thus, he not only cannot rest like his parents did, but worries more about the money. Regarding actions that can be taken to tackle this problem, firstly, one can decide to have a simpler life. Thus, by removing the need of useless contraptions like the latest iPhone introduced there is no need for a pile load of money to cover living expenses, letting the person to work less, worry less and rest more. Secondly, another advantage of what was said is that an individual will no longer need a high-paying job, that usually requires a lifetime education, which simply lets the person settle for a less paying job. Although this means less money, it removes the burden of education, resulting in fewer exams and less stress in life. To sum up, changes in the nature of jobs and advancements in technology have made life much more stressful for the new generation. One can avoid such unnecessary stress by selecting a simpler, yet cheaper, life and easy-to-get job.
Since the day mankind set foot on this planet, there has been
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
matters capable of putting fear into each generation’s heart.
However
, nowadays,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
is much more stressful than what it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to be for the prior generation. In this essay, the reasons behind this phenomenon and how to overcome it will
be discussed
.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stress
is such a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
problem these days, the revolution of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
resulted in more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stress
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. In the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
past
, the main career for the majority of citizens was agriculture in which the worker did not require any specific knowledge.
On the other hand
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
are way more professional these days, meaning not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
should the worker study for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
years,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
he
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
pass
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
exams
as well
, and
obviously
, owing to the fact that each exam brings
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stress
with itself, more exams than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
past
more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stress
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
past
.
Moreover
, living is much more complicated than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
past
. What
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
is that one should work and earn more does he want to have a normal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. As the fact that for having a simple, modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
gadgets should
be provided
.
Thus
, he not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
cannot rest like his parents did,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
worries more about the money.

Regarding actions that can
be taken
to tackle this problem,
firstly
, one can decide to have a simpler
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
Thus
, by removing the need of useless contraptions like the latest iPhone introduced there is no need for a pile load of money to cover living expenses, letting the person to work
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
less
, worry
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
less
and rest more.
Secondly
, another advantage of what
was said
is that an individual will no longer need a high-paying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
, that
usually
requires a lifetime education, which
simply
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lets
the person settle for a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
less
paying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
. Although this means
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
less
money, it removes the burden of education, resulting in fewer exams and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
less
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stress
in life.

To sum up,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
in the nature of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
and advancements in technology have made
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
much more stressful for the new generation. One can avoid such unnecessary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stress
by selecting a simpler,
yet
cheaper,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
and easy-to-
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Today, some employees are not sociable with colleagues in their workplace and they have difficulties in their teams. What are reasons of this, and what measures can be suggested? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
362 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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