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Describe a beautiful place where you would like to have a home. Please say- Where and what is this place? - When did you first see it or hear about it? - Why do you think it is such a beautiful place? v.1

Describe a beautiful place where you would like to have a home. Please say- Where and what is this place? - When did you first see it or hear about it? - Why do you think it is such a beautiful place? v. 1
Nowadays, goods and services consumed by individuals worldwide are similar in nations worldwide. I think this is a positive development because there will be cash flow, low cost of production and easy access to goods and services in one's home country. Firstly, if nationalities are able to procure items which they need in their home country, this will lead to adequate cash flow between citizens of that country. Individuals do not need to engage in the importation of products because these goods are readily available within the country. For instance, in Cameroon, according to a research conducted in 2019, the rate of importation of foods like rice and beans has reduced drastically and this is as a result of the Cameroonians engaging in advanced agricultural practices. They now produce enough rice and beans in-house, leading to a fall in the need for importation of these products from other countries. Secondly, since people have access to raw materials of the goods they produce, the cost of production is reduced and individuals can purchase these items at a lower cost. Take for example the cost of a pair of Valentino shoes in China, which is about 20 dollars compared to 140 dollars in Australia for the same pair of shoes. China manufactures her shoes from her own raw materials and this has led to a reduction in production cost. Lastly, the products will be easily accessible if they are manufactured in one's country because people would not need to travel far distances or pay outrageous fees for goods as a result of increase in transportation fare. According to a statistical analysis carried out on effect of transportation on cost of production, it was deduced that most countries spent over twice the amount of production on transportation of their goods. In conclusion, if similar products are being purchased anywhere in the world, there will be cash flow as well as low cost of production and easy access to goods and services.
Nowadays,
goods
and services consumed by individuals worldwide are similar in nations worldwide. I
think
this is a
positive
development
because
there will be cash flow, low
cost
of
production
and easy access to
goods
and services in one's home country.

Firstly
, if nationalities are able to procure items which they
need
in their home
country
, this will lead to adequate cash flow between citizens of that
country
. Individuals do not
need
to engage in the importation of
products
because
these
goods
are
readily
available within the
country
.
For instance
, in Cameroon, according to
a research
conducted in 2019, the rate of importation of foods like rice and beans has
reduced
drastically
and this is
as a result
of the Cameroonians engaging in advanced agricultural practices. They
now
produce
enough
rice and beans in-
house
, leading to a fall in the
need
for importation of these
products
from other countries.

Secondly
, since
people
have access to raw materials of the
goods
they produce, the
cost
of
production
is
reduced
and individuals can
purchase
these items at a lower
cost
. Take
for example
the
cost
of a pair of Valentino shoes in China, which is about 20 dollars compared to 140 dollars in Australia for the same pair of shoes. China manufactures her shoes from her
own
raw materials and this has led to a reduction in
production
cost.

Lastly
, the
products
will be
easily
accessible if they
are manufactured
in one's
country
because
people
would not
need
to travel far distances or pay outrageous fees for
goods
as a result
of increase in transportation fare. According to a statistical analysis carried out on effect of transportation on
cost
of
production
, it
was deduced
that most
countries
spent over twice the amount of
production
on transportation of their
goods
.

In conclusion
, if similar
products
are being
purchased
anywhere in the world, there will be cash flow
as well
as low
cost
of
production
and easy access to
goods
and services.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
One language sets you in a corridor for life. Two languages open every door along the way.
Frank Smith

IELTS essay Describe a beautiful place where you would like to have a home. Please say- Where and what is this place? - When did you first see it or hear about it? - Why do you think it is such a beautiful place? v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
328 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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