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Today much of the food people eat gets transported from farms that are thousands of miles away. Some people believe it would be better for the environment and the economy if people only consumed food produced by the local farmers. Would the advantages of v.11

Today much of the food people eat gets transported from farms that are thousands of miles away. Some people believe it would be better for the environment and the economy if people only consumed food produced by the local farmers. Would the advantages of v. 11
Most of the food supplies consumed by people these days are produced in farms built in far-flung areas. Some people argue that manufacturing food products in local farms is environmentally and economically more beneficial. In my opinion, although it has a few drawbacks, the positive impacts largely outweigh the negative effects. The disadvantages of depending on local food only are as follows. Firstly, in developing countries, local farms are often built on a small scale so, they do not have enough manpower or resources to generate quantities of food supplies needed to sustain a large fraction of population. Furthermore, such farms are also not equipped with advanced technologies so their manufacturing capabilities are outdated and limited. However, I strongly believe, that advantages outweigh the disadvantages. To begin with, food prepared in local farms does not need transportation and proves to be highly cost-effective because consumers can get it at cheaper rates. Moreover, large quantities of fuel used for transportation is also eliminated which eventually leads to a significant decrease in environmental pollution. Secondly, people can get fresh vegetables and fruits, free from preservatives required for keeping food safe during import process. Finally, local population is empowered because masses are more independent in creating flavors and types of foods they like to consume. On top of it, by serving the farms working to cater their needs, masses are able to contribute in their local economy more effectively. In conclusion, although importing edible goods from far-away areas is remarkably popular, I am of the opinion that depending on local farms is more advantageous financially as well as environmentally. Hence, government needs to empower local farmers so that population can reap the benefits of their locality to a maximum extent.
Most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
supplies consumed by
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
these days
are produced
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
farms
built in far-flung areas.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
argue that manufacturing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
products in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
farms
is
environmentally
and
economically
more beneficial. In my opinion, although it has a few drawbacks, the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
impacts
largely
outweigh the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effects.

The disadvantages of depending on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
are as follows.
Firstly
, in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
developing countries
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
farms
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
built on a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
scale
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
, they do not have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
manpower or resources to generate quantities of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
supplies needed to sustain a large fraction of population.
Furthermore
, such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
farms
are
also
not equipped with advanced technologies
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
their manufacturing capabilities
are outdated
and limited.

However
, I
strongly
believe, that advantages outweigh the disadvantages. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
prepared in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
farms
does not need transportation and proves to be
highly
cost-effective
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
consumers can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
it at cheaper rates.
Moreover
, large quantities of fuel
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
for transportation is
also
eliminated which
eventually
leads to a significant decrease in environmental pollution.
Secondly
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
fresh vegetables and fruits, free from preservatives required for keeping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
safe during import process.
Finally
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
population
is empowered
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
masses are more independent in creating flavors and types of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
they like to consume. On top of it, by serving the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
farms
working to cater their needs, masses are able to contribute in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
economy more
effectively
.

In conclusion
, although importing edible
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
from far-away areas is
remarkably
popular, I am of the opinion that depending on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
farms
is more advantageous
financially
as well
as
environmentally
.
Hence
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
needs to empower
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
farmers
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that population can reap the benefits of their locality to a maximum extent.
12Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
22Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes

IELTS essay Today much of the food people eat gets transported from farms that are thousands of miles away. Some people believe it would be better for the environment and the economy if people only consumed food produced by the local farmers. Would the advantages of v. 11

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
287 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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