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Many people disagree with the school about forcing children to learn new languages. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.2

Many people disagree with the school about forcing children to learn new languages. v. 2
Some people argue that it is not necessary to urge children to learn new languages at school. This essay disagrees that languages play an unimportant role in children’s lives. Firstly, this essay will discuss the disapproval among parents in learning new languages and secondly, it will discuss the advantages of tendency. On the one hand, it is true that the majority of parents today do not let their children spend a great deal of time focusing on learning new languages, and offer the opinion to the education system that children should not be forced to learn as well. The prime reason of this is due to parental perspectives, in which it is more preferable for their children to concentrate on academic subjects such as maths, physics or science, rather than trying to speak a language, which is totally unfamiliar with their cultures. For example, Vietnamese parents tend to drop English subject in their children’s daily timetable in an attempt to gain more time and access to other subjects. Consequently, children would become more academically successful in their study. On the other hand, I believe that encouraging young schoolers to develop the ability to speak different languages is extremely essential in the education system. This is a contributing factor to help children have a keen understanding of various cultures belonging to different countries. For example, by being competent at speaking English, children could be more aware of using words more appropriately in different cultural contexts rather than speaking their own voices by translating directly from their mother tongue. Despite this, being a polyglot would greatly benefit children not only in their daily lives but also in academic work. In conclusion, although many believe that learning new languages is unimportant, and the reason is a waste of time, I argue that we should not ignore this due to its benefits.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
argue that it is not necessary to urge
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to learn
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
languages
at school. This essay disagrees that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
languages
play an unimportant role in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children’s
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.
Firstly
, this essay will discuss the disapproval among parents in learning
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
languages
and
secondly
, it will discuss the advantages of tendency.

On the one hand, it is true that the majority of parents
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
spend a great deal of time focusing on learning
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
languages
, and offer the opinion to the education system that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
should not
be forced
to learn
as well
. The prime reason of this is due to parental perspectives, in which it is more preferable for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to concentrate on academic subjects such as
Possible spelling mistake. 'maths' is British English.
maths
, physics or science,
rather
than trying to speak a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
, which is
totally
unfamiliar with their cultures.
For example
, Vietnamese parents tend to drop English subject in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children’s
daily timetable in an attempt to gain more time and access to other subjects.
Consequently
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
would become more
academically
successful in their study.

On the other hand
, I believe that encouraging young schoolers to develop the ability to speak
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
languages
is
extremely
essential in the education system. This is a contributing factor to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
have a keen understanding of various cultures belonging to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
countries.
For example
, by being competent at speaking English,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
could be more aware of using words more
appropriately
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
cultural contexts
rather
than speaking their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
voices by translating
directly
from their mother tongue. Despite this, being a polyglot would
greatly
benefit
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
in their daily
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
in academic work.

In conclusion
, although
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
believe that learning
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
languages
is unimportant, and the reason is a waste of time, I argue that we should not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ignore
this due to its benefits.
12Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
21Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay Many people disagree with the school about forcing children to learn new languages. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
308 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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