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Today more people are travelling than ever before. Why is this the case? What are the benefits of traveling for the traveller? v.3

Today more people are travelling than ever before. Why is this the case? What are the benefits of traveling for the traveller? v. 3
The booming development of the tourism industry is increasingly being witnessed these days. This essay will discuss why these changes have occurred, including increasing income and cheap flight tickets and accommodation. This essay will also explain various advantages of travelling. Travelling has become more affordable nowadays is the prominent reason for this as people can earn more money today compared to the past due to the development of economy. Additionally, decreasing costs of air travel and accommodation also enables us to travel more because it provides a wide range of options for us to fit our budget and schedule. To illustrate, flight tickets tend to be cheaper in the winter time as different airlines need to attract more customers in order to compete with their rival opponents. As can be seen, it is for these reasons that the trend of travelling is ubiquitous today. Travelling plays a crucial role in shaping our personalities. It is an efficient way to broaden the horizon of life as it give us an opportunity to learn and immerse ourselves into other cultures. In addition, people tend to be more aware of cultural diversity because of the educational effects of travelling. For example, a recent study conducted in Japan has revealed that people who have travel experiences tend to blend more easily and effortlessly with people from different backgrounds. Therefore, traveling is beneficial in our daily life. To sum up, travelling has become incredibly common today. This essay discussed how this is often caused by rising amount of income and low costs of accommodation. This essay also explained a variety of different benefits of traveling, including expanding the mind and horizon and enhancing awareness of cultural diversity.
The booming development of the tourism industry is
increasingly
being witnessed
these days. This
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
essay
will discuss why these
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
have occurred, including increasing income and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cheap
flight tickets and accommodation. This
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
essay
will
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
various advantages of travelling.

Travelling has become more affordable nowadays is the prominent reason for this as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can earn more money
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
compared to the past due to the development of economy.
Additionally
, decreasing costs of air travel and accommodation
also
enables us to travel more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it provides a wide range of options for us to fit our budget and schedule. To illustrate, flight tickets tend to be cheaper in the winter time as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
airlines need to attract more customers in order to compete with their rival opponents. As can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
, it is for these reasons that the trend of travelling is ubiquitous
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
.

Travelling plays a crucial role in shaping our personalities. It is an efficient way to broaden the horizon of life as it give us an opportunity to learn and immerse ourselves into other cultures.
In addition
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
tend to be more aware of cultural diversity
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the educational effects of travelling.
For example
, a recent study conducted in Japan has revealed that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who have travel experiences tend to blend more
easily
and
effortlessly
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
backgrounds.
Therefore
, traveling is beneficial in our daily life.

To sum up, travelling has become
incredibly
common
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
. This
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
essay
discussed how this is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
caused by rising amount of income and low costs of accommodation. This
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
essay
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explained
a variety of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
benefits of traveling, including expanding the mind and horizon and enhancing awareness of cultural diversity.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes
Speak a new language so that the world will be a new world.
Rumi

IELTS essay Today more people are travelling than ever before. Why is this the case? What are the benefits of traveling for the traveller? v. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
282 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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