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Nowadays the way many people interact with each other has changed because of technology. In what ways has technology affected the types of relationships people make? Has this become a positive or negative development? v.2

Nowadays the way many people interact with each other has changed because of technology. In what ways has technology affected the types of relationships people make? Has this become a positive or negative development? v. 2
Today, the method of interaction with each other has altered with the internet and technology. Long distant friendships have been strengthened with technology and it is considered to be a positive development because it reduced the costs incurred. In the earlier days, it is used to be tough for a person to stay in contact with his best friend, who is living in abroad. That is to say, people used to rely on the phone as a way to interact which supports only audio communication. But, now with the development in technology, there are several applications that support easy interaction with video facility. As a result, friends can stay in touch forever and can share their important information. For example, Skype and Hangouts are the prominent apps used for long distant interactions. Further, the advancement in the internet can be viewed as a phenomenal development. In other words, the long-distance calling was expensive in the past and many could not afford the charge leading to disappointment. Today, The internet has enabled a cheaper and reliable way of calling helping many people to talk with their loved ones. For instance, earlier the price for talking with a person who is in overseas was 10$ per minute and currently, it costs only cents because of many enhancements in the field of internet. In conclusion, the internet has promoted relationships between friends and the cost has lowered significantly with the development of technology. It is predicted that in future all the internet interactions would be free of cost.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Today
, the method of interaction with each other has altered with the internet and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
. Long distant friendships have
been strengthened
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
and it
is considered
to be a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
costs
incurred.

In the earlier days, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to be tough for a person to stay in contact with his best friend, who is living in abroad.
That is
to say,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to rely on the phone as a way to interact which supports
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
audio communication.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
, there are several applications that support easy interaction with video facility.
As a result
, friends can stay in touch forever and can share their
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
information.
For example
, Skype and Hangouts are the prominent apps
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
for long distant interactions.

Further
, the advancement
The usual collocation for technology is "on," not "in." It is better to say this: "on the internet".
in the internet
can
be viewed
as a phenomenal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
.
In other words
, the long-distance calling was expensive in the past and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
could not afford the charge leading to disappointment.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Today
, The internet has enabled a cheaper and reliable way of calling helping
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to talk with their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
loved
ones.
For instance
, earlier the price for talking with a person who is in overseas was
The currency mark is usually put at the beginning of the number: "$10".
10$
per minute and
currently
, it
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
costs
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
cents
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
enhancements in the field of internet.

In conclusion
, the internet has promoted relationships between friends and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cost
has lowered
significantly
with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
. It
is predicted
that in future all the internet interactions would be free of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cost
.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
12Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay Nowadays the way many people interact with each other has changed because of technology. In what ways has technology affected the types of relationships people make? Has this become a positive or negative development? v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
255 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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