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Today more people are traveling than ever before. Why is this the case? What are the benefits of travelling for the traveller? v.4

Today more people are traveling than ever before. Why is this the case? What are the benefits of travelling for the traveller? v. 4
There is no doubt that travelling in all its variety has become extremely popular in today’s world. Bellow reasons on the trend as well as major benefits of it will be discussed in details. To begin with, there are several factors that have substantially contributed to the development of the trend. The most conspicuous one is a rapid advancement of technology. Inventing and refining of airplanes, trains, ships and automobiles have made travelling convenient and fact. For an instance, two hundred years ago, when none of those things were created, a routine journey from Paris to Moscow could take several months; by contrast, today the same trip may be done within four hours by plane powered by jet engines. Moreover, travelling has been becoming cheaper since charter companies had started to rival each other in 1990s and this kind of traveling that used to be available only to the reach and the wealthy now may be enjoyed by anyone. In other words, skyrocketing advancement of technology and dramatic fall of prices on tickets led to creation of the trend in discussion. Furthermore, increasing number of people travelling has brought many benefits to the commuters. Firstly, it motivates people to learn a foreign language. A pool that was conducted in the USA demonstrated that many Americans have started to learn a new tongue because they believe it will be useful for travelling abroad. In fact, it is exceptionally convenient to be able to converse with locals and with other tourists on their tongue; moreover, it allows, for instance, to make new friends or to bargain with sellers on a street market. Secondly, getting joy and new positive experience from travelling is another benefit. When a commuter submerges in a foreign and even alien culture, language, mores he feels thrilled and alive. This kind of emotions could not be acquired by any other means. Thus, the new trend has brought many benefits to tourists. In conclusion, travelling has been becoming increasingly popular among public due to technological advancement and decreasing expenses on having a journey. Being motivated to study a second tongue and having a good time are most obvious fruits of the trend for the travellers.
There is no doubt that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travelling
in all its variety has become
extremely
popular in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
’s world. Bellow reasons on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trend
as well
as major
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
benefits
of it will
be discussed
in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, there are several factors that have
substantially
contributed to the development of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trend
. The most conspicuous one is a rapid advancement of technology. Inventing and refining of airplanes, trains, ships and automobiles have made
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travelling
convenient and fact. For an instance, two hundred years ago, when none of those things
were created
, a routine journey from Paris to Moscow could take several months; by contrast,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
the same trip may
be done
within four hours by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plane
powered by jet engines.
Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travelling
has been becoming cheaper since charter
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
had
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
to rival each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
The article is probably missing here: "in the 1990s".
in 1990s
and this kind of traveling that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to be available
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
to the reach and the wealthy
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
may
be enjoyed
by anyone. In
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
words, skyrocketing advancement of technology and dramatic fall of prices on tickets led to creation of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trend
in discussion.

Furthermore
, increasing number of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travelling
has brought
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
benefits
to the commuters.
Firstly
, it motivates
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to learn a foreign language. A pool that
was conducted
in the USA demonstrated that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
Americans have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
to learn a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
tongue
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they believe it will be useful for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travelling
abroad. In fact, it is
exceptionally
convenient to be able to converse with locals and with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
tourists on their tongue;
moreover
, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
,
for instance
, to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
friends or to bargain with sellers on a street market.
Secondly
, getting joy and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
experience from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travelling
is another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
benefit
. When a commuter submerges in a foreign and even alien culture, language, mores he feels thrilled and alive. This kind of emotions could not
be acquired
by any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
means.
Thus
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trend
has brought
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
benefits
to tourists.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travelling
has been becoming
increasingly
popular among public due to technological advancement and decreasing expenses on having a journey.
Being motivated
to study a second tongue and having a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
time are
Did you mean "the most"?
most
obvious fruits of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trend
for the
Possible spelling mistake found.
travellers
.
14Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
24Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes
As a hawk flieth not high with one wing, even so a man reacheth not to excellence with one tongue.
Roger Ascham

IELTS essay Today more people are traveling than ever before. Why is this the case? What are the benefits of travelling for the traveller? v. 4

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
365 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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