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Today more people are travelling than ever before. Why is this, the case? What are the benefits of travelling for the traveller? v.1

Today more people are travelling than ever before. Why is this, the case? What are the benefits of travelling for the traveller? v. 1
The world has become a global village. Unlike earlier, many people are seen travelling to different places. The advantages of travelling along with the reasons are discussed in the forthcoming paragraphs. To embark upon, with the advent of technology, the world has shrunk. People, nowadays are fascinated with different cultures and even different delicacies as they read about them in books and watch them on television, thus, travelling to such places to get a firsthand experience. For instance, many travellers are captivated by the travel guides such as The Bradshaw’s Guide; motivating them to see different places. Moreover, many devotees in order to worship their god and even to pilgrim holy sites travel to various countries. To illustrate, more than 100, 000 Sikhs from around the world visit The Golden Temple each year in order to show reverence to the God. However, there are many other benefits of travelling. Firstly, travellers get to know a variety of cultures, diverse languages and even inculcate networking skills during their stay in other places. For example, during the student’s exchange program, many learners get fluent in different dialects and get well versed with different cultures which help them in their holistic development. Secondly, a visitor gets a lot of exposure by going to various places around the world which enables one to solve one’s shortcomings independently, hence, booting one’s confidence. Last but not least, it makes a person to adjust to different climates and weather, thereby, increasing one’s adaptability. To recapitulate, travelling do offers an out of the world experience, thus, helping to develop various qualities helping in a person’s holistic growth.
The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
has become a global village. Unlike earlier,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travelling
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
. The advantages of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travelling
along with the reasons
are discussed
in the forthcoming paragraphs.

To embark upon, with the advent of technology, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
has shrunk.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
, nowadays
are fascinated
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
cultures and even
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
delicacies as they read about them in books and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
them on television,
thus
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travelling
to such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a firsthand experience.
For instance
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
Possible spelling mistake found.
travellers
are captivated
by the travel guides such as The Bradshaw’s Guide; motivating them to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
.
Moreover
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
devotees in order to worship their god and even to pilgrim holy sites travel to various countries. To illustrate, more than 100, 000 Sikhs from around the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
visit The Golden Temple each year in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
reverence to the God.

However
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
other benefits of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travelling
.
Firstly
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
travellers
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
to know a variety of cultures, diverse languages and even inculcate networking
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
during their stay in other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
.
For example
, during the student’s exchange program,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
learners
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
fluent in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
dialects and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
well versed with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
cultures which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them in their holistic development.
Secondly
, a visitor
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
gets
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
exposure by going to various
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
around the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
which enables one to solve one’s shortcomings
independently
,
hence
, booting one’s confidence. Last
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not least, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
a person to adjust to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
climates and weather, thereby, increasing one’s adaptability.

To recapitulate,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travelling
do offers an out of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
experience,
thus
, helping to develop various qualities helping in a person’s holistic growth.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
22Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes
You live a new life for every new language you speak. If you know only one language, you live only once.
Czech Proverb

IELTS essay Today more people are travelling than ever before. Why is this, the case? What are the benefits of travelling for the traveller? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
269 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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