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Today more people are overweight than ever before. What in your opinion are the primary causes of this? What are the main effects of this epidemic? v.8

Today more people are overweight than ever before. What in your opinion are the primary causes of this? What are the main effects of this epidemic? v. 8
Over recent years, obesity rates have sharply increased among society. The principal reasons for this statistic relay on the modern busy schedule as well as technological advances, which affects both population well-being and health system finances. The initial justification for the increasing number of obese citizens is the excessive of responsibilities took by each person in professional and social life since it reduces the time left to have a proper meal. As a consequence, fast food restaurants, that commonly serve quick and inexpensive meals, have become a popular alternative despite having highly caloric and nutritionally poor menus. For instance, it has been proved that known restaurants such as Mc Donald's offer lunch options that are equivalent in terms of calories to five healthy dishes. Moreover, the popularization of cars has resulted in a reduction in exercising because it has allowed users to drive instead of walking to certain places, reducing the quantity of calories burnt daily. Regarding the effects, the epidemic of obesity has as an initial negative consequence in the general quality of life as being overweight increases diseases that might cause side effects. For example, diabetes that is more common in overweight individuals requires the use of medicine and food restriction, regularly affecting people’s routines. Furthermore, the enhancement of illnesses related to gain of weight can be costly to the health system since obese citizens tend to require doctors’ attention more often as a consequence of the unhealthy lifestyle. Therefore, the increase in the costs per person may increase the public budget. To conclude, the principal causes to the current overweight statistics are the common choices for fast meals due to short free time as well the constant use of cars. While the effects rely on the decrease in most individuals' quality of life as well as in the increase in costs of public health system.
Over recent years, obesity rates have
sharply
increased among society. The principal reasons for this statistic relay on the modern busy schedule
as well
as technological advances, which affects both population well-being and health system finances.

The initial justification for the increasing number of obese citizens is
the excessive of
responsibilities took by each person in professional and social life since it
reduces
the time
left
to have a proper meal. As a consequence,
fast
food restaurants, that
commonly
serve quick and inexpensive meals, have become a popular alternative despite having
highly
caloric and
nutritionally
poor menus.
For instance
, it has
been proved
that known restaurants such as
Mc
Donald's offer lunch options that are equivalent in terms of calories to five healthy dishes.
Moreover
, the popularization of cars has resulted in a reduction in exercising
because
it has
allowed
users to drive
instead
of walking to certain places, reducing the quantity of calories burnt daily.

Regarding the effects, the epidemic of obesity has as an initial
negative
consequence in the general quality of life as being overweight
increases
diseases that might cause side effects.
For example
, diabetes
that is
more common in overweight individuals requires the
use
of medicine and food restriction,
regularly
affecting
people
’s routines.
Furthermore
, the enhancement of illnesses related to gain of weight can be costly to the health system since obese citizens tend to require doctors’ attention more
often
as a consequence of the unhealthy lifestyle.
Therefore
, the
increase
in the costs per person may
increase
the public budget.

To conclude
, the principal causes to the
current
overweight statistics are the common choices for
fast
meals due to short free time
as well
the constant
use
of cars. While the effects rely on the decrease in most individuals' quality of life
as well
as in the
increase
in costs of public health system.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay Today more people are overweight than ever before. What in your opinion are the primary causes of this? What are the main effects of this epidemic? v. 8

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
308 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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