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Today more people are overweight than ever before. What in your opinion are the primary causes of this? What are the main effects of this epidemic? v.3

Nowadays the number of overweight people is constantly increasing. This essay will discuss the main reasons for this epidemic and then describe the possible effects of the problem. In my opinion, the foremost causes of obesity are inactive lifestyles and unhealthy eating habits. Today more and more people rely on cars instead of walking, have less physical demands at work, and prefer inactive leisure activities. This results in burning fewer calories and gaining weight. Moreover, the problem is accentuated by the growing number of people, who eat irregularly and consume large proportions of high-calorie food. for example, about 50% of the adult population in Europe with so-called disordered eating suffer from obesity. The possible effects of this problem include physical health problems and loss of productivity. First of all, obesity results in incorrect functioning of the human body and contributes to the risk of developing some chronic illnesses. For example, as body fat percentage increases, the person's metabolism worsens, which in turn may result in diabetes and heart diseases. Secondly, overweight people are very unhealthy and often suffer from stress and tiredness. This lessens their work capacity and results in lower productivity. For example, it has been proven that an obese person needs to put more effort to complete some task than a person with normal weight. To sum up, obesity is a big problem that affects a lot of people nowadays. It's mainly caused by inactive lifestyles and eating disorders and results in severe health problems and loss of productivity.
Nowadays the number of overweight
people
is
constantly
increasing. This essay will discuss the main reasons for this epidemic and then
describe
the possible effects of the
problem
. In my opinion, the foremost causes of obesity are inactive lifestyles and unhealthy eating habits.
Today
more and more
people
rely on cars
instead
of walking, have less physical demands at work, and prefer inactive leisure activities. This
results
in burning fewer calories and gaining weight.
Moreover
, the
problem
is accentuated
by the growing number of
people
, who eat
irregularly
and consume large proportions of high-calorie food.
for
example, about 50% of the adult population in Europe with
so
-called disordered eating suffer from obesity. The possible effects of this
problem
include physical health
problems
and loss of productivity.
First of all
, obesity
results
in incorrect functioning of the human body and contributes to the
risk
of developing
some
chronic illnesses.
For example
, as body
fat
percentage increases, the person's metabolism worsens, which in turn may
result
in diabetes and heart diseases.
Secondly
, overweight
people
are
very
unhealthy and
often
suffer from
stress
and tiredness. This lessens their work capacity and
results
in lower productivity.
For example
, it has
been proven
that an obese person needs to put more effort to complete
some
task than a person with normal weight. To sum up, obesity is a
big
problem
that affects
a lot of
people
nowadays. It's
mainly
caused by inactive lifestyles and eating disorders and
results
in severe health
problems
and loss of productivity.
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IELTS essay today more and more people are overweight than ever before. What in your opinion are the primary causes of this? What are the main effects of this epidemic?

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
251 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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