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Today more people are overweight than ever before. what in your opinion is the primary cause of this? What measures can be taken to overcome this epidemic? v.10

Today more people are overweight than ever before. what in your opinion is the primary cause of this? What measures can be taken to overcome this epidemic? v. 10
Nowadays, obesity became as a crucial health issue all over the world than past years. In my opinion the main cause of this problem is the sedentary lifestyle of people and the possible solution for this is creating awareness among individuals. Sedentary lifestyle is the fundamental reason of a significant raise in the number of obesity cases. This is because of the decreased physical activity and increased fast food consumption. In other words, jobs like teaching and banking demands less physical activities than farming, which was the most popular occupation in previous decades. In addition, consumption of fast foods like burgers and hot dogs, which contains more fat content enhanced obesity among people. A study, for instance, conducted by WHO found that almost 60 percent of young adults are diagnosed as obese in the New York city in 2018. Creating awareness among people is one of the best solution for this raising issue because most of the people are unaware about the detrimental effects of obesity in health. Government can encourage people to do regular physical activities by providing low cost fitness centres across the country. Furthermore, education on healthy food habits from school periods helps to ameliorate the healthy lifestyle of younger generations. For example, a survey conducted by the Queen's university among their students found that 70 percent of them are avoiding regular exercise due to its high cost. In conclusion, the number of people becoming obese is increasing rapidly. I reiterate that the basic cause of obesity is lethargic life routine and the effective solution is providing knowledge about the negative impact of it on people's lives.
Nowadays, obesity became as a crucial health issue all over the world than past years. In my opinion the main cause of this problem is the sedentary lifestyle of
people
and the possible solution for this is creating awareness among individuals.

Sedentary lifestyle is the fundamental reason of a significant raise in the number of obesity cases. This is
because
of the decreased physical activity and increased
fast
food consumption.
In other words
, jobs like teaching and banking demands less physical activities than farming, which was the most popular occupation in previous decades.
In addition
, consumption of
fast
foods like burgers and hot dogs, which contains more
fat
content enhanced obesity among
people
. A study,
for instance
, conducted by WHO found that almost 60 percent of young adults
are diagnosed
as obese in the
New York city
in 2018.

Creating awareness among
people
is
one of the best solution for this raising issue
because
most of the
people
are unaware about the detrimental effects of obesity in health.
Government
can encourage
people
to do regular physical activities by providing low cost fitness
centres
across the country.
Furthermore
, education on healthy food habits from school periods
helps
to ameliorate the healthy lifestyle of younger generations.
For example
, a survey conducted by the Queen's university among their students found that 70 percent of them are avoiding regular exercise due to its high cost.

In conclusion
, the number of
people
becoming obese is increasing
rapidly
. I reiterate that the basic cause of obesity is lethargic life routine and the effective solution is providing knowledge about the
negative
impact of it on
people
's
lives
.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay Today more people are overweight than ever before. what in your opinion is the primary cause of this? What measures can be taken to overcome this epidemic? v. 10

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
270 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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