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It is observed that in many countries not enough students are choosing to study science subject. What are causes? And what will be effects on society? v.11

It is observed that in many countries not enough students are choosing to study science subject. What are causes? And what will be effects on society? v. 11
It is true that the number of education students is becoming inadequate in different parts of the world nowadays. The essay below will analyse some explanations for this situation as well as its influence on society. There are two principal factors that contribute to the common disinterest in control subjects. First, those subjects are often challenging and require a lot of diligence as well as a great deal of patience and intelligence. The sum of researches that an average Biology student has to do is more than other subjects with higher levels of both difficulty and commitment, which discourages many students from choosing technique as their majors. Second, employment opportunities in this particular field are limited and extremely competitive. Although a huge amount of time and effort is spent on art study at school, there is still little chance for them to get a job after graduation. Society greatly suffers from the scarcity of human resources in will fields. Apparently, as the statistic of control students is insignificant, other majors such as business or economics become prevalent, hence the imbalance in the future workforce. In fact, competitiveness increased due to too many degree holders of the same expertise pushes a worrying sum of graduates to the verge of unemployment. Another problem is the shortage of control professionals as qualified employees are low on the figure. Unless more students decided to study system at university, sooner or later we would have to face a major human resource crisis. In conclusion, hurdles regarding some strict requirements of system subjects and employment opportunities factor in a lot of students not choosing such subjects to study, and there are serious problems arising from this situation.
It is true that the number of education
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
is becoming inadequate in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
parts of the world nowadays. The essay below will
Possible spelling mistake. 'analyse' is British English.
analyse
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
explanations for this situation
as well
as its influence on society.

There are two principal factors that contribute to the common disinterest in control
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
.
First
, those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
challenging and require
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
diligence
as well
as a great deal of patience and intelligence. The sum of researches that an average Biology
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
do is more than other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
with higher levels of both difficulty and commitment, which discourages
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
from choosing technique as their majors. Second, employment opportunities in this particular field
are limited
and
extremely
competitive. Although a huge amount of time and effort
is spent
on art study at school, there is
still
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
chance for them to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a job after graduation.

Society
greatly
suffers from the scarcity of human resources in will
The verb 'will' requires the base form of the verb: "field"
fields
.
Apparently
, as the statistic of control
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
is insignificant, other majors such as business or economics become prevalent,
hence
the imbalance in the future workforce. In fact, competitiveness increased due to too
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
degree holders of the same expertise pushes a worrying sum of graduates to the verge of unemployment. Another problem is the shortage of control professionals as qualified employees are low on the figure. Unless more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
decided to study system at university, sooner or later we would
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
face a major human resource crisis.

In conclusion
, hurdles regarding
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
strict requirements of system
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
and employment opportunities factor in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
not choosing such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
to study, and there are serious problems arising from this situation.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay It is observed that in many countries not enough students are choosing to study science subject. What are causes? And what will be effects on society? v. 11

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
281 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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