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Today more and more tourists are visiting places where conditions are difficult, such as the Sahara dessert or the Antarctic. What are the benefits and disadvantages for tourists who visit such places? v.3

Today more and more tourists are visiting places where conditions are difficult, such as the Sahara dessert or the Antarctic. What are the benefits and disadvantages for tourists who visit such places? v. 3
Visiting an adventurous place, is becoming a trend today. Some people visit such places to get out of their comfort zone and do something new, which gives them an immense pleasure, while some have hobbies of playing adventure sports. However, there are some pros and cons to visit such risky places. This essay is an attempt to discuss both of them. Looking at the positive side, an adventure activity inculcates some of the essential skills in tourists. It makes the people risk takers, which is very important to succeed in any field of career. Additionally, it can teach human beings to survive in the toughest situations in the life, which eventually makes the people bold to handle the trials and tribulations of life. For example, a survey, by a well-known international tourist agency, has revealed that, people, who visit risky places for fun, are the fastest learners and the most successful in their lives. Looking at the negative side, life is an unpredictable. If any accident at adventure places occurs, the chances of survival are very low. Sometimes, tourists may get injured and at times, it may lead to the death. For instance, in the last year, a car in an open zoo in Africa forest, was attacked by five lions, which took several's lives. Moreover, by experiencing such horrible incidents at some stages of life, people start to get scared, which leads to various kinds of phobia, which can only be treated by a medical help. To conclude, going for an adventure tour, has its uncountable advantages, but at the same time it is very risky. Hence, people should be careful for their safety, if they are in such places.
Visiting an adventurous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
, is becoming a trend
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
visit such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
out of their comfort zone and do something new, which gives them an immense pleasure, while
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
have hobbies of playing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
adventure
sports.
However
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
pros and cons to visit such risky
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
. This essay is an attempt to discuss both of them.

Looking at the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
side, an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
adventure
activity inculcates
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
some of the
essential
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
in tourists. It
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
takers, which is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to succeed in any field of career.
Additionally
, it can teach human beings to survive in the toughest situations in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
, which
eventually
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
bold to handle the trials and tribulations of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
For example
, a survey, by a well-known international tourist agency, has revealed that,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, who visit risky
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
for fun, are the fastest learners and the most successful in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.

Looking at the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
side,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
is an unpredictable. If any accident at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
adventure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
occurs, the chances of survival are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
low.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Sometimes
, tourists may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
injured and at times, it may lead to the death.
For instance
, in the last year, a car in an open zoo in Africa forest,
was attacked
by five lions, which took several's
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.
Moreover
, by experiencing such horrible incidents at
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
stages of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
scared, which leads to various kinds of phobia, which can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
be treated
by a medical
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
.

To conclude
, going for an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
adventure
tour, has its uncountable advantages,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
at the same time it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
risky.
Hence
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should be
The usual collocation for "careful" is "with" not "for". Did you mean "careful with"?
careful for
their safety, if they are in such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay Today more and more tourists are visiting places where conditions are difficult, such as the Sahara dessert or the Antarctic. What are the benefits and disadvantages for tourists who visit such places? v. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
281 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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