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Question: Today more and more tourists are visiting places where conditions are difficult, such as the Sahara dessert or the Antarctic. What are the benefits and disadvantages for tourists who visit such places? v.2

Question: Today more and more tourists are visiting places where conditions are difficult, such as the Sahara dessert or the Antarctic. What are the benefits and disadvantages for tourists who visit such places? v. 2
Nowadays tourism has extended to interesting but comparatively difficult destinations. People love to explore new and adventurous places such as deserts, Antarctic, high mountains, etc. In this essay, we discuss the advantages and disadvantages for tourists to visit such places. Let us first discuss the benefits. Today, tourism is not limited to only known exotic places with favourable climatic conditions. People are more keen to explore various and difficult parts of the world. As a result, it helps us to understand the different aspects of nature along with the way the local inhabitants cope up with these conditions. For instance, during travelling through a dessert, if you are lost, the best way to find the correct way is through the position of the sun and the direction in which your shadow falls. Consequently, this increases our knowledge about different places. Hence, people are more interested in adventures instead of leisure. Let us now talk about the disadvantages. At places such as deserts or Antarctic, it is difficult to get immediate medical help in case of an emergency. We have to sustain the pain until we are able to travel to some hospital or find a doctor. In deserts, people might suffer from dehydration because of hot and dry weather. If we are travelling to a high mountainous region, we can suffer from breathlessness because of low oxygen levels. In Antarctic, we can suffer from cold feet when walking in snow. Although the adventure is fun, often we are so worn out after such tours, that we have little energy to go back to the normal routine. Sometimes, due to the extreme climatic conditions, it is possible that we fell sick during the tour itself. Hence, screwing most of the trip. As such, it is important to have such tours to difficult and adventurous places which will help us boost our confidence and feel alive.
Nowadays tourism has extended to interesting
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
comparatively
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
difficult
destinations.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
to explore new and adventurous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
such as deserts, Antarctic, high mountains, etc. In this essay, we discuss the advantages and disadvantages for tourists to visit such places.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Let
us
first
discuss the benefits.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Today
, tourism is not limited to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
known exotic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
with
Possible spelling mistake. 'favourable' is British English.
favourable
climatic conditions.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
are more keen to explore various and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
difficult
parts of the world.
As a result
, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
us to understand the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
aspects of nature along with the way the local inhabitants cope up with these conditions.
For instance
, during travelling through a dessert, if you
are lost
, the best way to find the correct way is through the position of the sun and the direction in which your shadow falls.
Consequently
, this increases our knowledge about
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
.
Hence
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are more interested in adventures
instead
of leisure.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Let
us
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
talk about the disadvantages. At
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
such as deserts or Antarctic, it is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
difficult
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
immediate medical
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
in case of an emergency. We
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
sustain the pain until we are able to travel to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
hospital or find a doctor. In deserts,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
might suffer from dehydration
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of hot and dry weather. If we are travelling to a high mountainous region, we can suffer from breathlessness
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of low oxygen levels. In Antarctic, we can suffer from
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cold
feet when walking in snow. Although the adventure is fun,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
we are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
worn out after such tours, that we have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
energy to go back to the normal routine.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Sometimes
, due to the extreme climatic conditions, it is possible that we fell sick during the tour itself.
Hence
, screwing most of the trip.

As such, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to have such tours to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
difficult
and adventurous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
which will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
us boost our confidence and feel alive.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
13Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay Question: Today more and more tourists are visiting places where conditions are difficult, such as the Sahara dessert or the Antarctic. What are the benefits and disadvantages for tourists who visit such places? v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
314 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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