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Politicians private lives should not be published in newspapers, To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.2

Politicians private lives should not be published in newspapers, v. 2
Celebrities and politicians are always favourites for paparazzi. At times, they show personal affairs of these famous people to glue their audiences. However, interfering in anyone's personal life is far from being rational. But, if it affects the nation, it must be published in newspapers and should be exposed by the media. The reasons are explained in trailed paragraphs. To begin with, the role of newspapers in any nation, is vital to educate, to inform and to entertain people. As politicians are the public servants, citizens must be aware of their every step whether it is a public or a private. Being scared of exposing by the media, most of the politicians are afraid of using the public fund for their private comforts. Additionally, it gives citizens the feeling of living under a good and a safe ruler. For example, India's prime minister, Narendra Modi's personal life is very open to Indians, which makes him reliable in public and this is the reason why he has been elected again in the last election. Moreover, today's youngsters see politicians as their role models and people get inspired and motivated by them. If an authority of the nation, does something privately, people may lose their faith and start feeling insecurity even in their own country. Thus, to win people's trust, politicians' lives should be crystal clear to their citizens. For instance, in the time of the US president, Barak Obama, people even knew his daily schedule, which made them satisfied that their decision to choose that government was not wrong. To conclude, newspapers, work as a chain to join between the citizen and the government. As, serving the public by their all hearts, should be the motto of politicians, newspapers have the right to make people aware of the right and the wrong deeds of the government.
Celebrities and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
politicians
are always
Possible spelling mistake. 'favourites' is British English.
favourites
for paparazzi. At times, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
personal affairs of these
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to glue their audiences.
However
, interfering in anyone's personal life is far from being rational.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
, if it affects the nation, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be published
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
newspapers
and should
be exposed
by the media. The reasons are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explained
in trailed paragraphs.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, the role of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
newspapers
in any nation, is vital to educate, to inform and to entertain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. As
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
politicians
are the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
servants,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
citizens
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be aware of their every step whether it is a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
or a private.
Being scared
of exposing by the media, most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
politicians
are afraid of using the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
fund for their private comforts.
Additionally
, it gives
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
citizens
the feeling of living under a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
and a safe ruler.
For example
, India's prime minister, Narendra
Possible spelling mistake found.
Modi
's personal life is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
open to Indians, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
him reliable in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
and this is the reason why he has
been elected
again in the last election.

Moreover
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
's youngsters
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
politicians
as their role models and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
inspired and motivated by them. If an authority of the nation, does something
privately
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
may lose their faith and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
feeling insecurity even in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
country.
Thus
, to win
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's trust, politicians'
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
should be crystal
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
citizens
.
For instance
, in the time of the US president,
Possible spelling mistake found.
Barak
Obama,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
even knew his daily schedule, which made them satisfied that their decision to choose that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
was not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
.

To conclude
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
newspapers
, work as a chain to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
join
between the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
citizen
and the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
. As, serving the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
by their all hearts, should be the motto of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
politicians
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
newspapers
have the right to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
aware of the right and the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
deeds of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay Politicians private lives should not be published in newspapers, v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
305 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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