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Today more and more tourists are visiting places where conditions are difficult, such as the Sahara desert or the Antarctic? What are the advantages and disadvantages for tourists who visit such places? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. v.5

Today more and more tourists are visiting places where conditions are difficult, such as the Sahara desert or the Antarctic? What are the advantages and disadvantages for tourists who visit such places? v. 5
In recent times, a number of sightseers are touring location where the environments are complex, like the wilderness or the glacial. Although, nature picturesque is a wonderful sight to behold, the result of this is attributed to bucket list fulfillment or making the list in Guinness record book. One major benefit of travelers exploring an arid region and an ice glazing surroundings is that an individual may chose to be adventurous and the other is attaining a certain goal. For instance, I watched a television program that featured a group of females whose aim is to break the world’s record of fastest swimmer under the ice in Russia coldest region. Majority of these women who have never traveled out of their native land took it as an opportunity to visit zones like the Antarctic and tick that is off their bucket list. In addition, another advantage of going round the desert one most important is being able to see wild animals in their natural habitats and also taking pictures with them if possible to show off among friends. On the other hand, visiting the Sahara Desert or the Antarctic comes with few disadvantages. This includes medical which takes precedent on the list along with other factors. For example, Cable News Network (CNN) aired a story about a lady who lost her finance in the recent ice storm while he was at the peak of the Antarctic South Pole Mountain. Paramedic’s rapid team could not have access to him immediately as they had to wait out the storm being part of the safety training. Furthermore, security is also paramount when exploiting some sub Sahara spots in Africa due to religion or cultural laws. A locality in Kenya for instance, has a tradition bylaw whereby every visitor to in that territory must appease the gods before taking photographs. To conclude, following the aforementioned, access to hospital, security and right information makes journey to the Sahara Desert and the Antarctic dangerous and unsafe for travelers
In recent times, a number of sightseers are touring location where the environments are complex, like the wilderness or the glacial. Although, nature picturesque is a wonderful sight to behold, the result of this
is attributed
to bucket
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
list
fulfillment or making the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
list
in Guinness record book.

One major benefit of travelers exploring an arid region and an ice glazing surroundings is that an individual may chose to be adventurous and the other is attaining a certain goal.
For instance
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watched
a television program that featured a group of females whose aim is to break the world’s record of
A determiner is probably missing here: "the fastest".
fastest
swimmer under the ice in Russia coldest region. Majority of these women who have never traveled out of their native land took it as an opportunity to visit zones like the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Antarctic
and tick
that is
off their bucket
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
list
.
In addition
, another advantage of going round the desert one most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
is being able to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
wild animals in their natural habitats and
also
taking pictures with them if possible to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
off among friends.

On the other hand
, visiting the Sahara Desert or the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Antarctic
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
with few disadvantages. This includes medical which takes precedent on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
list
along with other factors.
For example
, Cable News Network (CNN) aired a story about a lady who lost her finance in the recent ice storm while he was at the peak of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Antarctic
South Pole Mountain. Paramedic’s rapid team could not have access to him immediately as they had to wait out the storm being part of the safety training.
Furthermore
, security is
also
paramount when exploiting
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
sub Sahara spots in Africa due to religion or cultural laws. A locality in Kenya
for instance
, has a tradition bylaw whereby every visitor to in that territory
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
appease the gods
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
taking photographs.

To conclude
, following the aforementioned, access to hospital, security and right information
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
journey to the Sahara Desert and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Antarctic
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
and unsafe for travelers
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes
Learning is a treasure that will follow its owner everywhere.
Chinese Proverb

IELTS essay Today more and more tourists are visiting places where conditions are difficult, such as the Sahara desert or the Antarctic? What are the advantages and disadvantages for tourists who visit such places? v. 5

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
331 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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