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Today more and more tourists are visiting places where conditions are difficult, such as the Sahara desert or the Antarctic. What are the advantages and disadvantages for tourists who visit such places? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. v.19

Today more and more tourists are visiting places where conditions are difficult, such as the Sahara desert or the Antarctic. What are the advantages and disadvantages for tourists who visit such places? v. 19
In recent years, there has been a significant increase in the number of individuals travelling to tourist destinations with abominable natural conditions. In this essay, both merits and drawbacks will be addressed in detail. In the first place, there are indisputable benefits which result from going to places with poor conditions. A key point worth emphasizing is that an area with poor conditions is highly likely to remain unspoiled. A good illustration of this is Tibet. Due to the complex traffic conditions and the thin air, few make it as a travelling destination finally even though many may always be longing for a trip to it. As a result, there are countless spectacular, pure natural landscapes in a large proportion of Tibet without pollution and commercialization. Without a shadow of a doubt, exploring such the untraversed scenery could be an unforgettable experience. In addition, quite a few hold the view that it is the tough travelling which could enable them to push themselves to the limit. From their point of view, a challenging trip is far more worthwhile than a dull and boring one. Nevertheless, it cannot be ignored that there are some downsides associated with travelling to difficult places. The first disadvantage which should not be overlooked is the cost of time and money. Since an area with poor conditions is always exceptionally far from the airport or train station, one has little choice but to endure a long exhausting road trip to get there. Definitely, this also costs an arm and a leg. Another drawback is this kind of trip is always full of danger. A prime example of this is to discover the desert of western China by self-driving. It may sound fascinating at first. However, the story is different when a severe mechanical failure occurs. Since the lack of drinking water and mobile phone signal, it could be life-threatening in such a situation. In conclusion, while some advantages of difficult travelling may seem convincing and appealing, we have to also ponder the cost and the danger at the same time. As such, one should try to keep a balance between the two sides.
In recent years, there has been a significant increase in the number of individuals
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travelling
to tourist destinations with abominable natural conditions. In this essay, both merits and drawbacks will
be addressed
in detail.

Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
In
the
first
place, there are indisputable benefits which result from going to places with poor conditions. A key point worth emphasizing is that an area with poor conditions is
highly
likely to remain unspoiled. A
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
illustration of this is Tibet. Due to the complex traffic conditions and the thin air, few
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
it as a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travelling
destination
finally
even though
Possible agreement error. The noun may seems to be uncountable; consider using: "much may", "a good deal of may".
many may
always be longing for a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trip
to it.
As a result
, there are countless spectacular, pure natural landscapes in a large proportion of Tibet without pollution and commercialization. Without a shadow of a doubt, exploring such the
Possible spelling mistake found.
untraversed
scenery could be an unforgettable experience.
In addition
, quite a
Possible agreement error. The noun hold seems to be countable; consider using: "few holds".
few hold
the view that it is the tough
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travelling
which could enable them to push themselves to the limit. From their point of view, a challenging
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trip
is far more worthwhile than a dull and boring one.

Nevertheless
, it cannot be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ignored
that there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
downsides associated with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travelling
to difficult places. The
first
disadvantage which should not
be overlooked
is the cost of time and money. Since an area with poor conditions is always
exceptionally
far from the airport or train station, one has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
choice
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
to endure a long exhausting road
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trip
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
there. Definitely, this
also
costs an arm and a leg. Another drawback is this kind of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trip
is always full of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
danger
. A prime example of this is to discover the desert of western China by self-driving. It may sound fascinating at
first
.
However
, the story is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
when a severe mechanical failure occurs. Since the lack of drinking water and mobile phone signal, it could be life-threatening in such a situation.

In conclusion
, while
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
advantages of difficult
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travelling
may seem convincing and appealing, we
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
also
ponder the cost and the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
danger
at the same time. As such, one should try to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
a balance between the two sides.
12Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
9Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes

IELTS essay Today more and more tourists are visiting places where conditions are difficult, such as the Sahara desert or the Antarctic. What are the advantages and disadvantages for tourists who visit such places? v. 19

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
357 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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