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Today, more and more students are deciding to move to a different country for higher studies. Do you think that the benefits outweigh the problems? v.1

Today, more and more students are deciding to move to a different country for higher studies. Do you think that the benefits outweigh the problems? v. 1
Nowadays there is a sudden increase in the number of students wanting to study at international universities. While there are some drawbacks to this trend, I firmly believe that the benefits outweigh the demerits. On the one hand, there are some limitations to sending students to overseas universities. Firstly, many of them have never left their home before this event in their entire life. It would be very normally difficult for such students to cope up well with the entirely new environment. Most of the time, they feel homesick and due to this, they struggle in their studies. On the bright side every university runs counselling units particularly for overseas students so that they adjust themselves very well. Secondly, foreign students are more vulnerable when they are away from their family and close friends. This can create problems for them and they may easily indulge in illegal activities such as drug abuse. On the other hand, studying abroad helps students to broaden their mental outlook towards the world as a whole. In class they have to work with students of different nationalities on group projects which nurture their team skills. As a result, they experience change in their overall personality. Furthermore, they get an opportunity to study in ultra-modern universities with high-technology and tie-ups with various industries. Having an overseas degree provides an edge to the student in the international job market. In conclusion, I think an overseas qualification not only improves chances of employment but also develops the overall personality of the student. While there are some limitations to this trend, in my opinion, the advantages of getting an international degree outweigh the disadvantages.
Nowadays there is a sudden increase in the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
wanting to study at international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
. While there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
drawbacks to this trend, I
firmly
believe that the benefits outweigh the demerits.

On the one hand, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
limitations to sending
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
overseas
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
.
Firstly
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
of them have never
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
their home
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
event
in their entire life. It would be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
normally
difficult for such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to cope up well with the
entirely
new environment. Most of the time, they feel homesick and due to this, they struggle in their studies. On the bright side every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
runs counselling units
particularly
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
overseas
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they adjust themselves
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
well.
Secondly
, foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
are more vulnerable when they are away from their family and close friends. This can create problems for
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
them and
they may
easily
indulge in illegal activities such as drug abuse.

On the other hand
, studying abroad
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to broaden their mental outlook towards the world as a whole. In
The comma is probably missing here: "class, they".
class they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
work with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
nationalities on group projects which nurture their team
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
.
As a result
, they experience
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
in their
overall
personality.
Furthermore
, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
an opportunity to study in ultra-modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
with high-technology and tie-ups with various industries. Having an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
overseas
degree provides an edge to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
in the international job market.

In conclusion
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
overseas
qualification not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improves
chances of employment
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
develops the
overall
personality of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
. While there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
limitations to this trend, in my opinion, the advantages of getting an international degree outweigh the disadvantages.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
17Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay Today, more and more students are deciding to move to a different country for higher studies. Do you think that the benefits outweigh the problems? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
275 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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