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Today, more and more students are deciding to move to a different country for higher studies. Do you think that the benefits outweigh the problems? v.4

Today, more and more students are deciding to move to a different country for higher studies. Do you think that the benefits outweigh the problems? v. 4
Nowadays, a large number of students are planing their college education in a foreign nation. This particular trend has its own pros can cons. However, I believe there are more negative outcomes of this than positive ones. Considering the advantages of foreign education, students could learn new technologies and subject matters that are not available in their own nation. Most counties offer education for international students have an efficient education system. Especially universities that produce confident graduates. For example, these educational institutes have a solid academic staff who are profound in their area of studies. Moreover, the lab resources and infrastructure they have quite high tech and up to date, which most other counties do not have. In addition, the experience the youngsters gather living in a new country with new people is priceless. On the other hand, scholars moving to other countries are identified as a huge loss for the mother nation of them. Most people seek foreign education for their masters and PhDs. That means these are the most knowledgeable portion of that country. When they move overseas, it negatively affects the education and the innovations of the nation. For instance, all most all the students have to finish a research or a project to get their degree. Sometimes these researches lead to significant break troughs. Unfortunately, the credit goes to an another nation and a university. Furthermore, some people who leave their country for studies are offered to stay in those nations. As a result, all the investments that made by the mother nation become a waste. In conclusion, getting higher education in a separate country has certain benefits for the students such as they would be able to capture new technologies. Nonetheless, some people go for education tend to settle in those nations, which is a quite loose in their own country. Hence, problems of this development outweigh the benefits.
Nowadays,
Specify a number, remove phrase, or simply use "many" or "numerous"
a large number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
are planing their college
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
in a foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nation
. This particular trend has its
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
pros can cons.
However
, I believe there are more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
outcomes of this than
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
ones.

Considering the advantages of foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
could learn
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
technologies and subject matters that are not available in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nation
. Most counties offer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
for international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
have an efficient
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
system.
Especially
universities that produce confident graduates.
For example
, these educational institutes have a solid academic staff who are profound in their area of studies.
Moreover
, the lab resources and infrastructure they have quite high tech and up to date, which most other counties do not have.
In addition
, the experience the youngsters gather living in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
is
priceless.

On the other hand
, scholars moving to other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
are identified
as a huge loss for the mother
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nation
of them. Most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
seek foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
for their masters and PhDs. That means these are the most knowledgeable portion of that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
. When they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
overseas, it
negatively
affects the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
and the innovations of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nation
.
For instance
,
Did you mean "almost"?
all most
all the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
finish a research or a project to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
their degree.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Sometimes
these researches lead to significant break troughs. Unfortunately, the credit goes to an another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nation
and a university.
Furthermore
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
for studies
are offered
to stay in those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
.
As a result
, all the investments that made by the mother
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nation
become a waste.

In conclusion
, getting higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
in a separate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
has certain benefits for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
such as they would be able to capture
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
technologies. Nonetheless,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
go for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
tend to settle in those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
, which is a quite loose in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
.
Hence
, problems of this development outweigh the benefits.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes
Learn a language, and you’ll avoid a war.
Arab Proverb

IELTS essay Today, more and more students are deciding to move to a different country for higher studies. Do you think that the benefits outweigh the problems? v. 4

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
314 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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