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Today many young people are moving from rural areas to cities. Why is this. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages. ? v.2

Today many young people are moving from rural areas to cities. Why is this. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages. ? v. 2
Whether cities are better than countrysides or visa-versa has been always a question since the places where people live in affect greatly their lifestyles, education, civilizations and myriad of other central elements, therefore people opine differently when it comes to the best place to live. Some prefer cities for the matter of great facilities, better job opportunities etc while others stand opposite to it and they choose villages due to the quaint environment and healthiness. Good to mention that both opinions have their own pros and cons and neither of them is in the peak condition. There is no doubt that a city offers a greater life from some aspects. advanced educational system, almost well health services, more job diversity with further incomes, remarkable shopping malls, the recreational locations and easier access to new technoligies are cases in point. Furthermore, you learn to coexist with people from all walks of life, of different races, nationalities, castes and cultures and start respecting dissimilarities, whereas in suburbs, these required facilities are absent, thus suburbanites are less tolerant, civilized and open minded than urbanites. In today world, a vast number of peoples migrate to urban areas in order to live a better life, but indeed, it is risking a life and limb. City dwellers are always under tremendous pressure and stress, busy with updating themselves with the latest technology and have no time to draw comfort from it. Additionally, the majority of the population suffer from various disorders, such as heart diseases, asthma, depressions and many other prevalent illnesses, thanks to adulterated food, chemically grown vegetables, different types of pollution and high level of stress. Villagers, in contrary, are much healthier. They breathe in fresh air and have organic food and pure water. Moreover, great deal of traffic jam, rapid population growth, cost of living, homelessness, crimes and corruptions are considerable issues that rural inhabitants would never face up. As a result they have a peaceful, wholesome and safe life. To conclude, choosing a living place seems to be a life choice for it is still in dispute, but in my point of view, city life is more preferable, because, in general, I am a person who likes to be updated and connected to modern world. However, rural areas, unfortunately, lacks the international standard of healthcare and education.
Whether
cities
are better than countrysides or visa-versa has been always a question since the places where
people
live
in affect
greatly
their lifestyles, education, civilizations and myriad of other central elements,
therefore
people
opine
differently
when it
comes
to the best place to
live
.
Some
prefer
cities
for the matter of great facilities, better job opportunities etc while others stand opposite to
it and
they choose villages due to the quaint environment and healthiness.
Good
to mention that both opinions have their
own
pros and cons and neither of them is in the peak condition.

There is no doubt that a city offers a greater
life
from
some
aspects.
advanced
educational system, almost well health services, more job diversity with
further
incomes, remarkable shopping malls, the recreational locations and easier access to new
technoligies
are cases in point.
Furthermore
, you learn to coexist with
people
from all walks of
life
, of
different
races, nationalities, castes and cultures and
start
respecting dissimilarities, whereas in suburbs, these required facilities are absent,
thus
suburbanites are less tolerant, civilized and
open minded
than urbanites.

In
today
world, a vast number of
peoples
migrate to urban areas in order to
live
a better
life
,
but
indeed
, it is risking a
life
and limb. City dwellers are always under tremendous pressure and
stress
, busy with updating themselves with the latest technology and have no time to draw comfort from it.
Additionally
, the majority of the population suffer from various disorders, such as heart diseases, asthma, depressions and
many
other prevalent illnesses, thanks to adulterated food,
chemically
grown vegetables,
different
types of pollution and high level of
stress
. Villagers, in contrary, are much healthier. They breathe in fresh air and have organic food and pure water.
Moreover
, great deal of traffic jam, rapid population growth, cost of living, homelessness, crimes and corruptions are considerable issues that rural inhabitants would never face up.
As a result
they have a peaceful, wholesome and safe life.

To conclude
, choosing a living place seems to be a
life
choice for it is
still
in dispute,
but
in my point of view, city
life
is more preferable,
because
,
in general
, I am a person who likes to
be updated
and connected to modern world.
However
, rural areas, unfortunately, lacks the international standard of healthcare and education.
14Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
12Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes

IELTS essay Today many young people are moving from rural areas to cities. Why is this. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages. ? v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
385 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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