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In the recent years, the proportion of the world’s population living in cities has increased substantially. People have moved in ever growing numbers from rural to urban areas. As migration from rural areas to cities continues, it is inevitable that the infrastructure on these cities will collapse. v.1

In the recent years, the proportion of the world’s population living in cities has increased substantially. People have moved in ever growing numbers from rural to urban areas. As migration from rural areas to cities continues, it is inevitable that the infrastructure on these cities will collapse. v. 1
Today, people’s lifestyles have fundamentally been changed by urbanisation. It is believed that these alterations have had some positive influences; however, I personally think that their drawbacks will become far influential. On the one hand, migration of rural residents into cities has had two important advantages on infrastructures. One is that constructions have been more developed. To build more high-rise buildings, construction developers have invested more in cities than the rural areas, leading citizens to access to stronger residential premises in urban areas. As a prime example, in Los Angeles, immigration of villagers has caused many investors to spend their money and develop more Skyscrapers, and LA citizens have access to more equipped apartments. Furthermore, transportation has been improved dramatically. Governments have had to provide more bus or train as more people have moved from suburbs to cities; therefore, the quality of infrastructures in transportation has gradually been raised. In particular, in Vancouver, mass migration of villagers has led the administration to consider more funds for the upgrading of transport systems in the downtown area. On the other hand, I personally believe that it could be like a tip of an iceberg if we only consider the positive influences, and the negative consequences should be figured out. One reason behind it is that more agricultural lands will be degraded. Clearly, the more buildings are built, the more farmlands vegetations and woods will be ruined, and soil will be eroded. For instance, in Tehran, the Capital city of Iran, construction of more residential structures has tremendously changed the natural habitat. Many of agricultural lands have been eroded, and if this method continues, more farmlands will be destroyed by these constructions. In addition, freshwater resources will be contaminated. In this case, had not more rural households moved to New York, less freshwater would have been ruined. Unfortunately, mass immigration of people to cities will cause more freshwater plants and animals to be death in the future. In conclusion, although urbanisation might have had some positive influences on some important infrastructures of cities, its drawbacks should not be forgotten. From my point of view, if this pattern continues, more freshwater resources and farmlands will be demolished. If I were a governor, I would consider more restrictions on these changes.
Today
,
people
’s lifestyles have
fundamentally
been
changed
by
urbanisation
. It
is believed
that these alterations have had
some
positive
influences;
however
, I
personally
think
that their drawbacks will become far influential.

On the one hand, migration of rural residents into
cities
has had two
important
advantages on infrastructures. One is that
constructions
have been more developed. To build more high-rise buildings,
construction
developers have invested more in
cities
than the rural areas, leading citizens to access to stronger residential premises in urban areas. As a prime example, in Los Angeles, immigration of villagers has caused
many
investors to spend their money and develop more Skyscrapers, and LA citizens have access to more equipped apartments.
Furthermore
, transportation has been
improved
dramatically
.
Governments
have had to provide more bus or train as more
people
have
moved
from suburbs to
cities
;
therefore
, the quality of infrastructures in transportation has
gradually
been raised
.
In particular
, in Vancouver, mass migration of villagers has led the administration to consider more funds for the upgrading of transport systems in the downtown area.

On the other hand
, I
personally
believe that it could be like a tip of an iceberg if we
only
consider the
positive
influences, and the
negative
consequences should
be figured
out. One reason behind it is that more agricultural lands will
be degraded
.
Clearly
, the more buildings
are built
, the more farmlands
vegetations
and woods will
be ruined
, and soil will
be eroded
.
For instance
, in Tehran, the Capital city of Iran,
construction
of more residential structures has
tremendously
changed
the natural habitat.
Many
of agricultural lands have
been eroded
, and if this method continues, more farmlands will be
destroyed
by these
constructions
.
In addition
, freshwater resources will
be contaminated
.
In this case
, had not more rural households
moved
to New York, less freshwater would have
been ruined
. Unfortunately, mass immigration of
people
to
cities
will cause more freshwater plants and animals to be death in the future.

In conclusion
, although
urbanisation
might have had
some
positive
influences on
some
important
infrastructures of
cities
, its drawbacks should not
be forgotten
. From my point of view, if this pattern continues, more freshwater resources and farmlands will
be demolished
. If I were a governor, I would consider more restrictions on these
changes
.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
9Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay In the recent years, the proportion of the world’s population living in cities has increased substantially. People have moved in ever growing numbers from rural to urban areas. As migration from rural areas to cities continues, it is inevitable that the infrastructure on these cities will collapse. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
376 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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