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In some countries, at secondary at high school, there may be two or three streams of studies, academic or vocational. What are the advantages of this to the students and the society of putting students at the two streams at the age of 15? v.2

In some countries, at secondary at high school, there may be two or three streams of studies, academic or vocational. What are the advantages of this to the students and the society of putting students at the two streams at the age of 15? v. 2
Nowadays, higher education entails streaming students into academic or vocational subjects. Despite being questioned for its validity and effectivity in the current context, this strategy has been continued since several reasons can be cited in support this format of formal tuition at high or secondary level. The policy of streaming the pupils, at the age of 15, into vocational or academic area of studies, as per their abilities and inclinations carries multiple advantages. This helps the growing minds to clearly set their objectives and pursue them dedicatedly. As they have fewer subjects to explore and study, the pupils can focus on those completely. This does not only save them time but also protects them from extra burden they might have to bear while studying subjects of little consequence to the knowhow of domains the pupils are pursuing. On the top of that, strategy of grouping students pursuing similar subjects offers certain inbuilt advantages. Like minded pupils pursuing homogenous syllabus tend to learn faster, and the class work progresses at a fairly brisk pace. Besides this, the young learners can also gauge their accomplishments in contrast to their classmates clearly and concretely, this often results in a healthy competition which ultimately is interpreted into excellent academic results. Furthermore, this system can prove to be highly advantageous for the society too: the economy of a country can quickly harness the talents of young professionals and academicians, in form of their contributions to the economic productivity. These professionals, in their own domains, can bring around other benefits too, e. g. these professionals do not only save money, otherwise spent on training them, but also train others. To conclude, I feel that pushing students into specific domain study at a young age can prove to be highly counterproductive.
Nowadays, higher education entails streaming students into academic or vocational
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
. Despite
being questioned
for its validity and effectivity in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
context, this strategy has
been continued
since several reasons can
be cited
in support this format of formal tuition at high or secondary level.

The policy of streaming the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pupils
, at the age of 15, into vocational or academic area of studies, as per their abilities and inclinations carries multiple advantages. This
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
the growing minds to
clearly
set their objectives and pursue them
Possible spelling mistake found.
dedicatedly
. As they have fewer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
to explore and study, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pupils
can focus on those completely. This does not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
save them time
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
protects them from extra burden they might
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
bear while studying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
The usual preposition to use after "consequence" is not "to". Did you mean "consequence of", "consequence for", or "consequence on"?
consequence to
the
Possible spelling mistake found.
knowhow
of domains the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pupils
are pursuing.

On the top of that, strategy of grouping students pursuing similar
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
offers certain inbuilt advantages.
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
Like minded
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pupils
pursuing homogenous syllabus tend to learn faster, and the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
work progresses at a
fairly
brisk pace.
Besides
this, the young learners can
also
gauge their accomplishments
in contrast
to their classmates
clearly
and
concretely
, this
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
results in a healthy competition which
ultimately
is interpreted
into excellent academic results.

Furthermore
, this system can prove to be
highly
advantageous for the society too: the economy of a country can
quickly
harness the talents of young professionals and academicians, in form of their contributions to the economic productivity. These professionals, in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
domains, can bring around other benefits too,
There should be no space here: "e.g.".
e. g.
these professionals do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
save money,
otherwise
spent on training them,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
train others.

To conclude
, I feel that pushing students into specific domain study at a young age can prove to be
highly
counterproductive.
13Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes

IELTS essay In some countries, at secondary at high school, there may be two or three streams of studies, academic or vocational. What are the advantages of this to the students and the society of putting students at the two streams at the age of 15? v. 2

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
294 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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