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Some people think that health care is a basic human necessity that should not be provided by provided private companies. But should be provided by state. Discuss the advantage and disadvantage of health care being provided by the private sector v.2

Some people think that health care is a basic human necessity that should not be provided by provided private companies. But should be provided by state. Discuss the advantage and disadvantage of health care being provided by the private sector v. 2
Some people argue that the role of government in medical services sector cannot be replaced by individual proprietorships. Despite some obvious drawbacks in this issue, there are also several benefits which are worth considering. The most apparent advantage gained from the privatization in health care industries is that individual firms contribute significantly to improve the quality of services. That is because, firstly, they share pressure from the overload of public hospitals, which sometimes encounter difficulties to provide comfort amenities for their patients at peak times. Secondly, they also put their capital to ameliorate medical equipment and infrastructure. Besides, thanks a large part to the participation of private investors, healthcare industries are more and more diversified. In other words, civilians have more chance to opt for doctors as well as facilities which they expect or can afford. For instance, in recent years, the appearance of private luxurious hospitals such as Vinmec or Viet-France hospital adapts growing demand of many high-income people who are willing to pay more money for shorter wait times and advanced services. Therefore, the involvement of private investors in the healthcare sector is indispensable. However, there are also some downsides to take into consideration before permit individual companies to take part in this sector. The privatization probably makes civilians have to pay more money for their healthcare services instead of receiving benefit from the free-for-service system in case the government totally takes control of public sanitation. To make matters worse, the privatization of medical services is one of the causes leading to the inequality. Due to profit incentive, private health facilities probably concentrate only on high-income customers ignoring low-income patients or providing poor quality for them. Consequently, this evident discrimination causes negative feedback from the community. In conclusion, medical care is one of the minimum requirements which need to be taken for granted in each nation. Although private investment in this service sector seems to cause some negative social impacts like the increase in expense for healthcare services and the growing in the rich-poor gap, its outstanding contribution to make immense progress in this domain would be well recognized.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
argue that the role of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sector
cannot
be replaced
by individual
Possible spelling mistake found.
proprietorships
. Despite
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
obvious drawbacks in this issue, there are
also
several benefits which are worth considering.

The most apparent advantage gained from the privatization in health care industries is that individual firms contribute
significantly
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the quality of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
.
That is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
,
firstly
, they share pressure from the overload of public hospitals, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
encounter difficulties to provide comfort amenities for their patients at peak times.
Secondly
, they
also
put their capital to ameliorate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medical
equipment and infrastructure.
Besides
, thanks a large part to the participation of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
private
investors, healthcare industries are more and more diversified.
In other words
, civilians have more chance to opt for doctors
as well
as facilities which they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expect
or can afford.
For instance
, in recent years, the appearance of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
private
luxurious hospitals such as
Possible spelling mistake found.
Vinmec
or
Possible spelling mistake found.
Viet-France
hospital adapts growing demand of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
high-income
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who are willing to pay more money for shorter wait times and advanced
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
.
Therefore
, the involvement of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
private
investors in the healthcare
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sector
is indispensable.

However
, there are
also
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
downsides to take into consideration
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
permit individual
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
take part
in this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sector
. The privatization
probably
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
civilians
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
pay more money for their healthcare
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
instead
of receiving benefit from the free-for-service system in case the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
totally
takes control of public sanitation. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
matters worse, the privatization of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
is one of the causes leading to the inequality. Due to profit incentive,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
private
health facilities
probably
concentrate
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
on high-income customers ignoring low-income patients or providing poor quality for them.
Consequently
, this evident discrimination causes
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
feedback from the community.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medical
care is one of the minimum requirements which need to
be taken
for granted in each nation. Although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
private
investment in this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
service
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sector
seems to cause
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
social impacts like the increase in expense for healthcare
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
and the growing in the rich-poor gap, its outstanding contribution to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
immense progress in this domain would be well recognized.
19Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
20Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think that health care is a basic human necessity that should not be provided by provided private companies. But should be provided by state. Discuss the advantage and disadvantage of health care being provided by the private sector v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
351 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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