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Today, many people do not realise how important the natural world is. Why is this? How can people learn more about the importance of the natural world? v.3

Today, many people do not realise how important the natural world is. Why is this? How can people learn more about the importance of the natural world? v. 3
These Days, more and more individuals are not aware of how crucial the natural world is. The main reason for this situation is technology, pollution, and global warming. Fortunately, some ways can be used to educate people on how important the environment is. Such as educating people on methods used to preserve nature particularly, tree planting and proper waste disposal. Firstly, in the current world technology is spreading widely in all areas globally. Additionally, companies are using food preservatives to preserve food for long. The reason being, in the present day the rates of environmental pollution are high as well as deforestation. This results in global warming and farm produce are low. Therefore individuals are well catered for by the food production institutions, thus making the natural world less important. For instance, many supermarkets are selling baked beans and frozen vegetables which are easily accessible by the community. As a result of this, people do not notice the importance of the natural world. On the contrary, some strategies can be used to educate the public on the importance of the environment. First is by creating awareness of the side effects of living in a polluted environment, proper waste disposal, and ways to preserve nature. For example, hosting mass campaigns of tree planting and litter collection can be introduced by the government or non-governmental organizations. Therefore, if these strategies are utilized well people will get fond of the natural world and learn the detrimental impact negligence towards the environment can cause. To conclude, people do not find it vital to take care of the environment. Given that, technology is spreading tremendously in the universe and the companies are making use of chemical preservatives which can prevent food decay due to low farm produce caused by global warming. Although, holding mass campaigns on tree planting and litter collection, as well as educating the public on proper waste disposal along with ways to prevent different kinds of pollution is vital and this can help educate people thus saving the natural world.
These Days, more and more individuals are not aware of how crucial the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
natural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
is. The main reason for this situation is technology, pollution, and global warming.
Fortunately
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
ways can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to educate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
on how
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
is. Such as educating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
on methods
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to preserve nature
particularly
, tree planting and proper waste disposal.

Firstly
, in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
technology is spreading
widely
in all areas globally.
Additionally
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
are using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
preservatives to preserve
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
for long. The reason being, in the present day the rates of environmental pollution are high as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
well
as deforestation. This results in global warming and farm produce are low.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Therefore
individuals are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
well
catered for by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
production institutions,
thus
making the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
natural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
less
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
.
For instance
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
supermarkets are selling baked beans and frozen vegetables which are
easily
accessible by the community.
As a result
of this,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
do not notice the importance of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
natural
world.

On the contrary
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
strategies can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to educate the public on the importance of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
.
First
is by creating awareness of the side effects of living in a polluted
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
, proper waste disposal, and ways to preserve nature.
For example
, hosting mass campaigns of tree planting and litter collection can
be introduced
by the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
or non-governmental organizations.
Therefore
, if these strategies
are utilized
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
well
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
fond of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
natural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
and learn the detrimental impact negligence towards the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
can cause.

To conclude
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
do not find it vital to take care of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Given
that, technology is spreading
tremendously
in the universe and the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
are making
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of chemical preservatives which can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
decay due to low farm produce caused by global warming. Although, holding mass campaigns on tree planting and litter collection, as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
well
as educating the public on proper waste disposal along with ways to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
kinds of pollution is vital and this can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
educate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
thus
saving the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
natural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
.
18Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
29Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes
He who knows no foreign languages know nothing of his own.
Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

IELTS essay Today, many people do not realise how important the natural world is. Why is this? How can people learn more about the importance of the natural world? v. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
338 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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