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Today many children spend a lot of time playing computer games and little time on sports. Why is it? Is it a positive or negative development. v.6

Today many children spend a lot of time playing computer games and little time on sports. Why is it? Is it a positive or negative development. v. 6
Art can be seen as the artist's sleight of hand on his mood. Many individuals argue that it is a very important course at school for teenagers while others believe it is useless. This essay will discuss that why art is not considered a crucial subject and why it should be mandatory at school. Some people feel that art is a fruitless subject which is only included to kill time and earn money. Their thinking is based on the fact that it does not have any value in the real world and plays no role in future career after graduation. For example, most people who choose vocational education as their major fail to secure an employment. For these reasons, it is thought that removing it from the syllabus helps save time and money. But not everyone thinks that way and the arts can prove to be an incredible experience for the young ones. It teaches amazing skills, such as creativity and observation, which can go a long way in helping one succeed in life. To illustrate, the Chicago museum displays an amazing thinker with a very strong message in each portrait. It goes without saying that artwork, if you have an interest, can be a pleasurable experience. In conclusion, it is argued by some people that art is significant for children at school, whereas, others feel it is a meaningless activity. This discussed why it is not important, but why it should be compulsory for teenagers. In my opinion, it is an extremely important course and should be taught to all boys and girls.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Art
can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
as the artist's sleight of hand on his mood.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
individuals argue that it is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
course at school for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
while others believe it is useless. This essay will discuss that why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
is not considered a crucial subject and why it should be mandatory at school.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
feel that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
is a fruitless subject which is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
included to kill time and earn money. Their thinking
is based
on the fact that it does not have any value in the real world and plays no role in future career after graduation.
For example
, most
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who choose vocational education as their major fail to secure an employment. For these reasons, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
that removing it from the syllabus
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
save time and money.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
not everyone
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thinks
that way and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
can prove to be an incredible experience for the young ones. It teaches amazing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
, such as creativity and observation, which can go a long way in helping one succeed in life. To illustrate, the Chicago museum displays an amazing thinker with a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
strong message in each portrait. It goes without saying that artwork, if you have an interest, can be a pleasurable experience.

In conclusion
, it
is argued
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
is significant for children at school, whereas, others feel it is a meaningless activity. This discussed why it is not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
why it should be compulsory for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
. In my opinion, it is an
extremely
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
course and should
be taught
to all boys and girls.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Today many children spend a lot of time playing computer games and little time on sports. Why is it? Is it a positive or negative development. v. 6

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
264 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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