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Today in many countries people can live and work anywhere they choose because of improved communication technology and transportation Do the advantages of this development outweigh its disadvantages v.1

Today in many countries people can live and work anywhere they choose because of improved communication technology and transportation Do the advantages of this development outweigh its disadvantages v. 1
Young people with their hesitancy are easily affected by the trends, especially new fashion styles, in many ways. However, it is widely argued that those trends have negative impacts on how people are dressing in today's society. On the one hand, young generations always aim to keep them up to date with fashion. For example, teenagers want to look beautiful, so they dress in the way they feel better when hanging out with friends. They also consider to change the hairstyle and hair-colour frequently to refresh the appearance themselves. Brands are starting to realize that following new styles is the way people want to dress, so they have been willing to go this business direction. On the other hand, fashion companies through social media and news are trying to influence audiences in a beneficial way. For instance, hiring celebrities is a very common marketing technique, since people recognize celebrities and subconsciously see them as trustworthy. Their fame and name act as an argument, a reliable proof that the product or service they support is truly great. However, some of their problematic behaviours strike the negative effect on the new generation. In conclusion, the trend of fashion is controlled by brands and celebrities to make the younger following. It is an art and the art should be appreciated, adored, applauded and cherished. However, I believe that we should focus on the positive trends of fashion which is suitable and looks appropriate for us.
Young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
with their hesitancy are
easily
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trends
,
especially
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fashion
styles, in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
ways.
However
, it is
widely
argued that those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trends
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impacts on how
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are dressing in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
's society.

On the one hand, young generations always aim to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
them up to date with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fashion
.
For example
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
want to look
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
beautiful
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they dress in the way they feel better when hanging out with friends. They
also
consider to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
the hairstyle and
Possible spelling mistake found.
hair-colour
frequently
to refresh the appearance themselves. Brands are starting to realize that following
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
styles is the way
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
want to dress,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they have been willing to go this business direction.

On the other hand
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fashion
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
through social media and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
are trying to influence audiences
Consider replacing "in a beneficial way" with the adverb for "beneficial"; e.g., "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
in a beneficial way
.
For instance
, hiring celebrities is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
common marketing technique, since
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
recognize celebrities and
subconsciously
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
them as trustworthy. Their fame and name act as an argument, a reliable proof that the product or service they support is
truly
great.
However
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
of their problematic
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviours' is British English.
behaviours
strike the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effect on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
generation.

In conclusion
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trend
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fashion
is controlled
by brands and
Possible spelling mistake found.
celebrities
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the younger following. It is an art and the art should
be appreciated
, adored, applauded and cherished.
However
, I believe that we should focus on the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trends
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fashion
which is suitable and looks appropriate for us.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Today in many countries people can live and work anywhere they choose because of improved communication technology and transportation Do the advantages of this development outweigh its disadvantages v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
242 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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