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Many people now have the freedom to work and live anywhere because of advances in communication technology and transportation. Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own experience or knowledge v.1

Many people now have the freedom to work and live anywhere because of advances in communication technology and transportation. Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages? 1
Nowadays, the latest machinery and moving transport have impacted a lot in the whole world and people can easily work and move to anywhere. There are some advantages and also a few disadvantages for it. I will discuss both points in following paragraphs. However, there are a number of arguments in favour of my stance. The most preponderant one is that the comfort of communication and transport has made an easier rather than previously. Due to this technology people have a full liberty to labour everywhere and reside as they want. Thanks to the wide of advantages it offers, to be effective, but they can also enhance the productivity and quality of their lives with ease and efficacy. Needless to say, all these merits stand specific in good stead as far as augmenting their chances of prosperity and excellence is concerned. To illustrate, people perceive congenial to wield the social networks rather than to meet each other because some people are busy in their jobs then they have not enough time for personal meetings. On the other hand, another pivotal aspect of the aforementioned proposition is this implies that it is only likely to help one thrive and excel in varied areas. The freedom of working and travelling to anywhere can relegate us from our family and friends because doing job away from house could be the hardest for everyone. For instance, they can communicate with their family on a social network or telephone, but cannot feel their touch of each others and moreover, missing the food make by mother's hands can be noticed. In conclusion, according to my point of view if technologies have made an easier to communicate everyone and travelling to everywhere than that also the reason to take away them from their families. Due to the freedom of work can not see everyday their parents and some of them can not travel every day.
Nowadays, the latest machinery and moving transport have impacted a lot in the whole world and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can
easily
work and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
to anywhere. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
advantages and
also
a few disadvantages for it. I will discuss both points in following paragraphs.

However
, there are a number of arguments in
Possible spelling mistake. 'favour' is British English.
favour
of my stance. The most preponderant one is that the comfort of communication and transport has made an easier
rather
than previously. Due to this technology
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have a full liberty to
Possible spelling mistake. 'labour' is British English.
labour
everywhere and reside as they want. Thanks to the wide of advantages it offers, to be effective,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they can
also
enhance the productivity and quality of their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ease
and efficacy. Needless to say, all these merits stand specific in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
stead as far as augmenting their chances of prosperity and excellence
is concerned
. To illustrate,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
perceive congenial to wield the social networks
rather
than to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
each other
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are busy in their jobs then they have not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
time for personal meetings.

On the other hand
, another pivotal aspect of the aforementioned proposition is
this implies that
it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
likely to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
one thrive and excel in varied areas. The freedom of working and travelling to anywhere can relegate us from our family and friends
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
doing job away from
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
could be the hardest for everyone.
For instance
, they can communicate with their family on a social network or telephone,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
cannot feel their touch of each
The noun should be probably in the singular form: "other"?
others
and
moreover
, missing the food
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
by mother's hands can
be noticed
.

In conclusion
, according to my point of view if technologies have made an easier to communicate everyone and travelling to everywhere than that
also
the reason to take away them from their families. Due to the freedom of work can not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
'Everyday' is an adjective. Did you mean "every day"?
everyday
their parents and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
of them can not travel every day.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes
Language is not a genetic gift, it is a social gift. Learning a new language is becoming a member of the club – the community of speakers of that language.
Frank Smith

IELTS essay Many people now have the freedom to work and live anywhere because of advances in communication technology and transportation. Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages? 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
318 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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