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Today, fewer elderly people live with their children than in the past. Do u think this is a positive or a negative development? v.2

Today, fewer elderly people live with their children than in the past. Do u think this is a positive or a negative development? v. 2
It is true that in the modern day, the old people have a tendency for choosing to live alone compared to in the past. In my opinion, I believe that this trend has both advantages and disadvantages for both generations. On the one hand, there are a variety of reasons why elderly people who do not live with their children have become far more normal in recent years. Firstly, concerning the older generation, they will not be affected by the young people’s lifestyles such as eating too much sweet food, getting up late and making noises. Therefore, they will have a better life without youngsters. Secondly, in terms of the younger generation, especially when they finish high school, they will be mature enough to live more independent than those who live with family members. They have to seek a job to earn a living and gain countless opportunities to develop their soft skills like how to cook, cleaning clothes and the way to protect themselves. On the other hand, I suppose that there are some negative consequences which should be considered. From an individual perspective, young people will miss the golden chances to obtain a lot of real experience of their parents in regard to lifestyles, physical appearance and doing housework. For instance, my sister has a happy life with her parents -in -law, because she was learning many skills to manage conflicts or how to narrow the relationships between family members by her mothers. In addition, the oldsters will face some problems when they live alone, particularly health risks. As a person who has heart attack live without relatives, it is not safe for him/her when emergencies occur; thus; her/his offsprings will not only regret but also experience a hard time in the near future. In conclusion, the increase in one-person households will bring both benefits and drawbacks for individuals.
It is true that in the modern day, the
old
people
have a tendency for choosing to
live
alone compared to in the past. In my opinion, I believe that this trend has both advantages and disadvantages for both generations.

On the one hand, there are a variety of reasons why elderly
people
who do not
live
with their children have become far more normal in recent years.
Firstly
, concerning the older generation, they will not be
affected
by the young
people’s
lifestyles such as eating too much sweet food, getting up late and making noises.
Therefore
, they will have a better life without youngsters.
Secondly
, in terms of the younger generation,
especially
when they finish high school, they will be mature
enough
to
live
more independent than those who
live
with family members. They
have to
seek a job to earn a living and gain countless opportunities to develop their soft
skills
like how to cook, cleaning clothes and the way to protect themselves.

On the other hand
, I suppose that there are
some
negative
consequences which should
be considered
. From an individual perspective, young
people
will miss the golden chances to obtain
a lot of
real experience of their parents in regard to lifestyles, physical appearance and doing housework.
For instance
, my sister has a happy life with her parents -in -law,
because
she was learning
many
skills
to manage conflicts or how to narrow the relationships between family members by her mothers.
In addition
, the oldsters will face
some
problems when they
live
alone,
particularly
health
risks
. As a person who has heart attack
live
without relatives, it is not safe for him/her when emergencies occur;
thus
; her/his
offsprings
will not
only
regret
but
also
experience a
hard
time in the near future.

In conclusion
, the increase in one-person households will bring both benefits and drawbacks for individuals.
13Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
10Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay Today, fewer elderly people live with their children than in the past. Do u think this is a positive or a negative development? v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
311 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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