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IN SOME COUNTRIES PEOPLE ARE NOT TAKING CARE OF THEIR ELDERLY RELATIVES SOME BELIEVE THAT THE ELDERLY PEOPLE SHOULD LIVE IN NURSING HOME WHERE TRAINED PROFESSIONAL CARE For THE ELDERLY OTHERS THINK THEY SHOULD LIVE WITH THE YOUNGER FAMILY MEMBERS DISCUSS v.1

IN SOME COUNTRIES PEOPLE ARE NOT TAKING CARE OF THEIR ELDERLY RELATIVES SOME BELIEVE THAT THE ELDERLY PEOPLE SHOULD LIVE IN NURSING HOME WHERE TRAINED PROFESSIONAL CARE For THE ELDERLY OTHERS THINK THEY SHOULD LIVE WITH THE YOUNGER FAMILY MEMBERS DISCUSS v. 1
The world population has exceeded the reasonable limits by mostly the number of citizens who rather prefer living in the cities thus various serious problems had occurred inevitably. The cure of these problems pivots to the actions of both the governments and the residents. In this essay some of the most crucial issues we face as a result of overpopulation and the potential treatments which ought to be considered by individuals and authorities will be examined. First and foremost, crime rates are in direct proportion to the population acclivity in the metropolitans. For instance, India with an enormous population explosion had hit the peak of crime rates all among the world since the more crowded living areas the harder it gets to monitor individuals and apply sanctions as a punishment for the disincentive purposes. Another bug arises from the difficulty that children have, despite the fact there are countless distinctive pre-schools, malls or gaming cafes, the areas dedicated for the kids especially for toddlers had a nosedive fall. The lack of interaction between the siblings grounds unrecoverable consequences throughout the developments of the new generations. As a fundamental responsibility of governments to deal with these downside trends, I recommend that authorities should release the related regulations regarding to the obligations which order the minimum scale of amusement areas dedicated to the outdoor activities, especially for the pre-school age kids and also encourage the families to gather with their kids in these safe zones for the purpose of maximizing interaction between toddlers. Furthermore, another rule for the mandatory camera instalment for the owners of buildings and markets should be signed by the governments to provide more sovereignty among streets and prevent the potential criminal actions. Another aspect of this serious problem lies with cooperation of individuals with each other. The core of the society is individuals, thus possible actions which may lead conviction might be buried even before they occur by the favour of strong relations. Since one of the most crucial factors which waft people to arm of life against the law is desperate loneliness, so if each individual takes this as a mission of being cumulative life one of the catalyst would be obstructed. Last but not least, individuals have overwhelming impact over the governments and the municipal managements, therefore they are capable of every right to gather and protest the actions and steps taken by the heads which induces the leisure activity areas narrower. As a conclusion, metropolitan life with a major number of citizens contains a bunch of problems regarding free space for upcoming generations or upward crime ratios, on the other hand the cooperation between individuals and conscious investments by the authorities might be the cure of the such problems.
The world population has exceeded the reasonable limits by
mostly
the number of citizens who
rather
prefer living in the cities
thus
various serious
problems
had occurred
inevitably
. The cure of these
problems
pivots to the actions of both the
governments
and the residents. In this essay
some
of the most crucial issues we face
as a result
of overpopulation and the potential treatments which ought to
be considered
by
individuals
and authorities will
be examined
.

First
and foremost, crime rates are in direct proportion to the population acclivity in the metropolitans.
For instance
, India with an enormous population explosion had hit the peak of crime rates all among the world since the more crowded living
areas
the harder it
gets
to monitor
individuals
and apply sanctions as a punishment for the disincentive purposes. Another bug arises from the difficulty that children have, despite the fact there are countless distinctive
pre-schools
, malls or gaming
cafes
, the
areas
dedicated for the kids
especially
for toddlers had a nosedive fall. The lack of interaction between the siblings grounds unrecoverable
consequences throughout
the developments of the new generations.

As a fundamental responsibility of
governments
to deal with these downside trends, I recommend that authorities should release the related regulations
regarding to
the obligations which order the minimum scale of amusement
areas
dedicated to the outdoor activities,
especially
for the
pre-school
age kids and
also
encourage the families to gather with their kids in these safe zones for the purpose of maximizing interaction between toddlers.
Furthermore
, another
rule
for the mandatory camera
instalment
for the owners of buildings and markets should
be signed
by the
governments
to provide more sovereignty among streets and
prevent
the potential criminal actions.

Another aspect of this serious
problem
lies with cooperation of
individuals
with each other. The core of the society is
individuals
,
thus
possible actions which may lead conviction might
be buried
even
before
they occur by the
favour
of strong relations. Since one of the most crucial factors which waft
people
to arm of life against the law is desperate loneliness,
so
if each
individual
takes this as a mission of being cumulative life one of the catalyst would
be obstructed
. Last
but
not least,
individuals
have overwhelming impact over the
governments
and the municipal managements,
therefore
they are capable of every right to gather and protest the actions and steps taken by the heads which induces the leisure activity
areas
narrower.

As a conclusion, metropolitan life with a major number of citizens contains a bunch of
problems
regarding free space for upcoming generations or upward crime ratios,
on the other hand
the cooperation between
individuals
and conscious investments by the authorities might be the cure of the such
problems
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
He who knows no foreign languages knows nothing of his own.
Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

IELTS essay IN SOME COUNTRIES PEOPLE ARE NOT TAKING CARE OF THEIR ELDERLY RELATIVES SOME BELIEVE THAT THE ELDERLY PEOPLE SHOULD LIVE IN NURSING HOME WHERE TRAINED PROFESSIONAL CARE For THE ELDERLY OTHERS THINK THEY SHOULD LIVE WITH THE YOUNGER FAMILY MEMBERS DISCUSS v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
454 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
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