Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Some people believe that it is essential to include physical education classes in the curriculum for all school age children. Others think that children's time is better spent on more academic subjects. Discuss both views and give your opinion? v.5

Some people believe that it is essential to include physical education classes in the curriculum for all school age children. Others think that children's time is better spent on more academic subjects. v. 5
People have different views about whether the school should allocate more time for extra-curricular activities like physical education in their curriculum or should only focus on academic syllabus. Even though, students at school have a lot of subjects to study, I strongly believe that physical training should be a part of every curriculum because it keeps children not only healthy, but also zealous. On the one hand, the prime reason to add physical education in every school curriculum is to keep the children physically fit and healthy. The students who actively participate in physical activities like sports and other games will get plenty of exercise to burn out extra calories from their body. As a result, the risk of obesity and other lifestyle disorders like diabetes and heart diseases will be reduced. For instance, these days most of the children are interested to spend their leisure time playing video games rather than outdoor games, so, physical hours in school are mandatory to keep such student energetic and healthy. Apart from that physical education also play a role to identify talented children in various sports activities. For instance, if a student performs extraordinary in any sport items, the physical educator can give more guidance and training to the particular student and make him more successful sports person in the future. Thus, it should be mandatory to include physical activities in schools to promote health as well as well being of each student. On the other hand, some people argue that the only goal of school is to give education, not other activities. They think that, in this competitive world, education is the only way that help their children not only in acquiring knowledge, but also to get a better career in the future. For example, if a child spent maximum time for learning subjects in school, can score well in exams. Consequently, get a better opportunity to continue education in any reputed university, which help them to have a better future. In conclusion, after discussing the both views in details, I strongly believe that, even if, learning subjects are pivotal in the educational process, all schools should also promote extra curricular activities to keep the student physically healthy, energetic and enthusiastic.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
views about whether the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
should allocate more time for extra-curricular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
like
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
in their curriculum or should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
focus on academic syllabus.
Even though
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
subjects to study, I
strongly
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
training should be a part of every curriculum
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
keeps
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
zealous.

On the one hand, the prime reason to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
add
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
in every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
curriculum is to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
keep
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
physically
fit and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
who
actively
participate in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
like
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
games will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
of exercise to burn out extra calories from their body.
As a result
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
of obesity and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
lifestyle disorders like diabetes and heart diseases will be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
.
For instance
, these days most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are interested
to spend their leisure time playing video games
rather
than outdoor games,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
hours in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
are mandatory to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
keep
such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
energetic and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
. Apart from that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
also
play a role to identify talented
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
in various
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
.
For instance
, if a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
performs extraordinary in any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
items, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
educator can give more guidance and training to the particular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
him more successful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
person in the future.
Thus
, it should be mandatory to include
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
to promote health
as well
as well
being of each student.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
argue that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
goal of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
is to give
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
, not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
. They
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that, in this competitive world,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
is the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
way that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
in acquiring knowledge,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a better career in the future.
For example
, if a child spent maximum time for learning subjects in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
, can score well in exams.
Consequently
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a better opportunity to continue
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
in any reputed university, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them to have a better future.

In conclusion
, after discussing the both views in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
, I
strongly
believe that, even if, learning subjects are pivotal in the educational process, all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
should
also
promote
This word is normally spelled as one.
extra curricular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
keep
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
physically
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
, energetic and enthusiastic.
18Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
60Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people believe that it is essential to include physical education classes in the curriculum for all school age children. Others think that children's time is better spent on more academic subjects. v. 5

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
370 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts