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Today consumers are facing an increasing amount of advertising from competing companies. To what extent do you think consumers are influenced by advertisements? What measures can be taken to protect them? v.2

Today consumers are facing an increasing amount of advertising from competing companies. What measures can be taken to protect them? v. 2
Although over the past decade, the advertising service has boomed rapidly throughout the world, the issue as to whether that advertising from commercial services have effects on audiences or not remains controversial. In my opinion, public advertising not ony impact on commodity perception of consumer, but also change the consumer behaviour of them. Firstly, many may argue that advertisings just give them options about commodities and can not influence on their decisions. This argument could be true in some extent. However, they are ignorant that facing a bombard regularly from various advertisements have hit strongly on consumer demands of most custommer. In the long term, these commercials, which is able to change the public attitude or even mould their thought by disseminate information purposely, can increasing profit for companies, which have favorite model advertisements of cosumers. A telling example is advertisings on social networks. Habits and the changable consumer behaviour of customer can decide appearance of avertisements on their social networks page and orientate what they purchase in the future. Secondly, some economists could argue that advertisements is a revolution of media industry, and they help other industry develop and approach to customers easily. The development of advertising service has great contributation to the wealthy of good-producing industry which bring potential profit to economy of each country. However, the accelerated attack of advertisements in the same type mechanise from distinguish companies will stand customers in the disadvantage stead or even consumerscan be trapped in untrue advertisements. For example, image editing technologies applied to comercial advertisements nowaday have intensive effect on selections of most customers because of comparison between the look of goods. In conclusion, advertisements can help consumers approach and understand to commodities easily and conveniently. However, raising awareness in purchase and checking product information accurately will prevent customers from increasing rapidly of comercials in currently life.
Although over the past decade, the advertising service has boomed
rapidly
throughout the world, the issue
Consider shortening this phrase to just "whether", or rephrase the sentence to avoid "as to".
as to whether
that advertising from commercial services have effects on audiences or not remains controversial. In my opinion, public advertising
Possible spelling mistake found.
not ony
impact on commodity perception of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
consumer
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
consumer
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
of them.

Firstly
,
Possible agreement error. The noun may seems to be uncountable; consider using: "much may", "a good deal of may".
many may
argue that
Possible spelling mistake found.
advertisings
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
give them options about commodities and can not influence on their decisions. This argument could be true in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
extent.
However
, they are ignorant that facing
After 'a', do not use a verb. Make sure that the spelling of 'bombard' is correct. If 'bombard' is the first word in a compound adjective, use a hyphen between the two words. Note: This error message can occur if you use a verb as a noun, and the word is not a noun in standard English.
a bombard
regularly
from various
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
have hit
strongly
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
consumer
demands of most
Possible spelling mistake found.
custommer
. In the long term, these commercials, which is able to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
the public attitude or even
Possible spelling mistake. 'mould' is British English.
mould
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
by disseminate information
purposely
, can increasing profit for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
, which have favorite model
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
of
Possible spelling mistake found.
cosumers
. A telling example is
Possible spelling mistake found.
advertisings on
social networks. Habits and the
Possible spelling mistake found.
changable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
consumer
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
customer
can decide appearance of
Possible spelling mistake found.
avertisements
on their social networks page and orientate what they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
in the future.

Secondly
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
economists could argue that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
is a revolution of media industry, and they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
other industry develop and approach to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
customers
easily
. The development of advertising service has great
Possible spelling mistake found.
contributation
to the wealthy of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
-producing industry which bring potential profit to economy of each country.
However
, the accelerated attack of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
in the same type
Possible spelling mistake. 'mechanise' is British English.
mechanise
from distinguish
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
will stand
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
customers
in the disadvantage stead or even
Possible spelling mistake found.
consumerscan
be trapped
in untrue
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
.
For example
, image editing technologies applied to
Possible spelling mistake found.
comercial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
Possible spelling mistake found.
nowaday
have intensive effect on selections of most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
customers
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of comparison between the look of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
consumers
approach and understand to commodities
easily
and
conveniently
.
However
, raising awareness in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
and checking product information
accurately
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
customers
from increasing
rapidly
of
Possible spelling mistake found.
comercials
in
currently
life.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
17Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
19Mistakes
Language is wine upon the lips. – Virginia WoolfInspirational quotes for language learners
Virginia Woolf

IELTS essay Today consumers are facing an increasing amount of advertising from competing companies. What measures can be taken to protect them? v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
307 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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